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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26050855">Visitation</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theirmajesty2139/pseuds/Theirmajesty2139'>Theirmajesty2139</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Outlast (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Play, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Boys In Love, Canon-Typical Violence, Eddie Gluskin Being Eddie Gluskin, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Insanity, M/M, Memory Loss, Oral Sex, POV Waylon Park, Rimming, Romance, cannon typical medical negligence, mention of csa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:02:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>27,735</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26050855</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theirmajesty2139/pseuds/Theirmajesty2139</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lisa has been searching for her husband for weeks, when she’s called to a psychiatric hospital after the fall of Mount massive she thinks it’s finally over.</p><p>She finds Waylon but he’s changed. His time in The asylum has crushed his sanity and he believes with every fibre of his being that he’s married to Eddie Gluskin. </p><p>Can she pull him back Into the life they had before or has she forever lost the man she loved to a killer?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eddie Gluskin/Waylon Park, Lisa Park/Waylon Park</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>199</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Remembering</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Ms Park, please! I’m not entirely sure you understand the gravity of this situation. You should speak to the doctor before-"<br/>
"No! Don’t you dare! He’s my husband, let me see him!<br/>
The commotion can be heard from in the hall, penetrating our safe little haven and startling Eddie from his comfortable space on the couch.<br/>
My body jumps into action before my brain registers the voice and I scramble into Eddie’s lap.<br/>
"Shhh. Darling." He croons and ushers me into a corner, blocking me safely in and shielding me with his body.<br/>
Realistically I know we’re not still in mount Massive but I can’t stop myself reacting the same way I would then.<br/>
In the asylum if a scuffle could be heard nearby a fight would almost be inevitable, after all, men who don’t wish to fight don’t make themselves known.<br/>
I take a deep breath. It’s okay. You’re safe, Eddie is here. The soldiers came, we got out. Things will be different now.<br/>
A glass window separates us from the rest of the facility, cameras attached to the Ceiling can be monitored on the other side. Our bedroom has a camera too and the bathroom has no door.<br/>
I used to be a private person but the invasive observation doesn’t bother me anymore, most of the time I forget they’re even there. It’s just me and Eddie in our cozy little home.<br/>
The door on the other side of the glass opens and a tall woman storms into the room, long red hair swaying in her haste.<br/>
She  is quickly followed In by an anxious young doctor.<br/>
"Ma'am, as I was trying to say mister Park has suffered through a harrowing ordeal and is in an incredibly fragile state. He may not be ready to see you yet.<br/>
"Don’t be ridiculous." She spits at the man before pressing herself flush to the glass. "Waylon!"<br/>
I shrink back, hiding as far behind Eddie as I can. She knows my name.<br/>
Her mouth gapes as I attempt to hide from her view before her glare fixes back on the doctor.<br/>
"What is going on, who the hell is that man? I thought he’d be kept away from any patients. God, he’s in there with a crazy person, isn’t he?"<br/>
She shouts, one hand in her hair,<br/>
"Ms Park! If you don’t calm down I will have to ask you to leave. Our patients don’t need to be placed under any more unnecessary stress."<br/>
A second, older man in a  doctors coat speaks, his voice clipped. The woman gawks but stays quiet.<br/>
"The other man with your husband is mr Gluskin. Regular procedure would not allow for two patients to share a room however this is a special case. These two were found together in the building and both become incredibly distressed and violent when separated. We’ve found the best way to continue their treatment is to let them stay together."<br/>
The woman let’s out an angry laugh.<br/>
"That’s preposterous! How do you know he’s not hurting Waylon?"<br/>
I glare at her, my arms wrapping protectively around Eddie’s chest.<br/>
Who does she think she is? Eddie loves me, he would never hurt me.<br/>
"They are kept under 24/7 surveillance and both are non aggressive. If we considered mr park in any danger we wouldn’t have allowed this."<br/>
She fixes her eyes on Eddie who bares his teeth at her, ready to defend our family.<br/>
"Non aggressive. Yeah, right. This is disgusting. I demand you remove this animal and let me see my husba-"<br/>
"No!" I cut her off, slipping from my safe little corner and approaching the glass.<br/>
"...Waylon?" Her voice turns soft and small.<br/>
I take a deep breath, trying not to panic at the sound of my name. She can’t get to me. Eddie is still here.<br/>
I open my mouth, having to clear my throat a few times before speaking for the first time in what feels like forever. Silence kept me alive in Mount Massive.<br/>
"N-no..." I find my voice. "Don’t take Eddie."<br/>
The doctors stand, mouths hanging open.<br/>
"That’s the first comprehensible sentence he’s spoken to us since he arrived."<br/>
I bring one hand to my lips, I suppose they’re right.<br/>
I walk away from them, taking my husbands hand and leading him to the glass.<br/>
"Are you sure about this, darling?"<br/>
I nod. I have to know who this woman is. Why do I recognise her? How does she know my name?<br/>
Having his hand in mine comforts me and I stand before the glass, watching the woman.<br/>
She places her hand to the glass before me and I take a cautious step back into Eddie. Tears fill her eyes.<br/>
"Waylon... don’t you remember me?"<br/>
I shake my head slowly.<br/>
"May we come in, gentlemen? This conversation may be less daunting sat down."<br/>
Eddie smiles, hospitable as ever.<br/>
"Of course. We always enjoy guests, don’t we, darling?"<br/>
I say nothing but offer a little smile.<br/>
They unlock the door to our little home and usher the woman in.<br/>
She hesitates. "…am I safe?"<br/>
"Perfectly, ms Park. My associate and I will be right here to step in if anything goes awry."<br/>
Assured she steps in and sits on the plush armchair set out for us. I sit, curled into Eddie on the couch and watch the woman warily.<br/>
She brushes a tear from her eye.<br/>
"God, I can’t believe you can’t remember me. I should’ve never let you apply for that job."<br/>
I search my mind for her face, her voice but still come up blank.<br/>
"Waylon it’s me... it’s Lisa."<br/>
That name sets off bells in my head. Lisa, my ex wife. But surely she doesn’t look like this. I can’t remember her face anymore. Why can’t I remember?<br/>
"Lisa." I repeat, numbly and she averts her eyes.<br/>
"Yeah, babe. Lisa." Her voice is soft and wavering.<br/>
We sit in awkward silence and she fidgets in her seat.<br/>
"So, Waylon. Are you going to introduce me to your friend?"<br/>
She gestures to Eddie, who still holds my hand tightly.<br/>
I perk up, smiling. "Eddie is-." I break off, coughing a little. Talking is still a little weird. " ...is my husband. I love him."<br/>
I feel the tension in the room swell, crushing us all.<br/>
Her face crumples and she sobs hard, standing from the sofa.<br/>
"What? Christ Waylon... I’m your wife. You don’t even know this man."<br/>
I squint at her. "You’re my ex wife. I remarried."<br/>
"I’ve got documentation that states differently, Waylon. We’ve been married for three years, we have a child together. You’re just confused, baby..."<br/>
"No." I stand to face her. "No! No! No! I am not confused you- you’re the one who’s got it wrong. We were married, I left you. I went away to work and met Eddie. We got married, see?"<br/>
I thrust my left hand forward proudly before realising it’s bare.<br/>
"…what?…"<br/>
Where’s my ring? Eddie gave it to me, he took it from a guard and even washed it so it didn’t have any blood on it.<br/>
"My ring...It was just here…"<br/>
I turn to Eddie and brandish my hand, tears filling my eyes.<br/>
He rushes to comfort me.<br/>
"Oh, darling! Did you lose your ring? It’s alright, when we get out of here I’ll buy you another,  any one you want."<br/>
He holds my head and the woman gestures madly at us.<br/>
"What are you talking about? You already have a ring... Jesus, Fuck! You already have a wife! Me!"<br/>
I drop my head, receding into myself. Why is she saying these things? Why can’t she just go away?<br/>
"You are upsetting my love. I will only ask you to stop once."<br/>
Eddie speaks, teeth gritted but makes no move to get up.<br/>
"You! This is all your fault! What have you done to him? You’ve fucked with his head!"<br/>
"Lying whore!" Eddie jumps to his feet, snarling and ready to tear her apart.<br/>
I stand calmly, exuding a quiet power and stand in between them. I press myself to Eddie’s chest, eyes locked on him and press sweet little kisses to the corners of his lips.<br/>
One of the doctors takes the woman by the arm and leads her to the exit.<br/>
She stands, frozen in the doorway as the fight leaves my husband and he returns to placing soft kisses in my hair.<br/>
Her eyes are filled with hurt.<br/>
I pretend to ignore her, pulling Eddie into a deep kiss.<br/>
"I’ll come back next week. I won’t leave you here, Waylon. I promise."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Pictures</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>My hand slaps the glass shower curtain in the bathroom, smearing the steam on the clear surface. I whine, needy and desperate as Eddie slams into me from behind. Technically this kind of relationship is forbidden but we both made it very clear that nobody would stop us from consummating our marriage again and again. <br/>"Eddie- fuck! Harder..." I whisper and he laces our fingers, picking up his pace.<br/>"You minx." He bites down on my neck and I cry out, soaked by the hot spray of the shower. "You’re so tight, darling."<br/>I squeeze my eyes shut and let my mouth gape, pleasure making my legs shake. <br/>He grips my hips tight and groans against my bare skin as he shoots his seed into me. I suck in a breath and stroke my dick, the sensation of being so full sending me over the edge. I cum all over the glass and fall back into Eddie’s arms.<br/>"I am one lucky man." He speaks softly, lazily in my ear.<br/>He goes to pull out of me and I whine. I want him to stay, to keep his seed inside me. I want him to give me a baby.<br/>I know that it’s stupid, impossible but it feels good to pretend. <br/>He sighs and stills against the shower wall, shutting off the water and kissing up the back of my neck. <br/>"I love you so, Waylon."<br/>I nuzzle him affectionately and he pauses.<br/>"Speak, love. You have a beautiful voice."<br/>"Love you..." I whisper with only a slight hesitation. <br/>The doctors need me to talk, to get better but it’s so hard sometimes. <br/>"Good." Eddie praises, peppering my back with kisses. <br/>Anything for you, I think. <br/>He pulls out of me and steps out of the shower cubicle, drying himself with a towel.<br/>I follow suit until only my hair remains damp.<br/>I pull Eddie’s arm, getting his attention before pointing to our bed. <br/>He snorts. "Bed, dearest? We just got up. The devil makes work for idle hands, you know?" <br/>I point with my thumb towards the messy shower and my lips quirk up. <br/>He grins. "Well, that’s different, darling." He leans down, giving me a long kiss.<br/>"Pleasing your husband is no sin."<br/>I let out a little laugh before stepping out into our bedroom. <br/>"Breakfast now, love?"  He asks and I nod, pulling on some underwear.<br/>I step out first in only my pants and head in search of breakfast. <br/>I realise too late that we are not alone. <br/>I jump, a little yelp coming from my lips before I glare at the intruder. <br/>The woman from before-Lisa stands by the door, eyes wide. <br/>"Waylon I-"<br/>"Darling! What’s the matter?" Eddie comes running, still also in his briefs. He eyes the woman coldly. "Oh." <br/>She covers her eyes. <br/>"Christ why are you-… you know what? I don’t want to know."<br/>"Why are you here?" Eddie asks, eyes narrowed.<br/>"I’m here to see my husband you-" she pauses and takes a deep breath, appearing to be counting to ten before trying again. "I’m here to talk to Waylon."<br/>"About what?" I ask, my voice feeling less hoarse now.<br/>She sighs, eyes still averted. <br/>"Will you go put on some goddamn clothes please?" <br/>I had forgotten about my almost-nakedness, my modesty had died in Mount Massive with everything else. I turn on my heel and head back into the bedroom to put on a shirt and some jeans. I listen as she berates Eddie.<br/>"Both of you!" I imagine her gesturing for him to join me <br/>"May I remind you that you are the uninvited guest in our home?" <br/>My husband speaks before joining me in the room and finding a clean shirt and trousers. <br/>" the nerve of that woman." He mutters to himself and I smile, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. <br/>Now fully clothed, we head back out into the main room. <br/>The woman gives a tight smile. Eyes grazing over our laced fingers.<br/>"The nurse said she’d be back with your breakfast, we can talk then."<br/>I sit down, Eddie by my side. <br/>"Do you still remember me, Waylon?"<br/>I give a little nod. "Lisa." I whisper. "You were here last week."<br/>She gives an encouraging smile. "Anything else? Anything from before?"<br/>I shake my head. She sighs.<br/>A jolly nurse brings us a tray set with three bowls of cereal topped with fruit. <br/>"Hello! I’m nurse Murray. I’ll be observing for safety today. If you need anything don’t hesitate to ask!" Eddie thanks the woman before taking his bowl. <br/>"So, Waylon. If you’re feeling up to it I want to show you some pictures. The doctors took some away but they let me keep these."<br/>She fumbles with her handbag, pulling out three prints. <br/>She hands them to me and reluctantly I take them. I study the first. Lisa stands in a long white dress, her arm around me. We look younger, more put together but I’m sure it is us. I look so happy. <br/>"Do you remember that day?" She asks<br/>I nod. The memories are faded and barely there but I know they happened.<br/>I remember my wedding day with Eddie. I had reasoned with him, begged him until he relented on the surgery. I wore a white dress like Lisa’s but more simple, crudely stitched by Eddie Himself. I was so scared but I knew it was my duty to save him. To make up for leaving him to the mercy of the engine. <br/>Only days later when the engines effect began to wear off and the groom faded did I truly start falling for Eddie. <br/>I discard the picture, eyes falling on the next, a house. I look up at her, confused.<br/>"You don’t remember, do you?"<br/>I shake my head, eyes lowered.<br/>"Our house. We lived here together before you worked for Murkoff. You loved it, loved our little life..."<br/>She trails off, and in the silence Eddie places a strawberry from his bowl to my lips and I eat it, grinning. <br/>Lisa cringes and I sit back. Why is she so disgusted by us?<br/>"Forget the pictures! What about this?"<br/>She thrusts a piece of paper onto my lap and I pick it up.<br/>"You wrote this while you were working away. You sent this to me. Read it! Does it sound like we were divorced? You loved me. You wanted me, do you understand?"<br/>I drop the letter onto the table, speaking softly through my teeth.<br/>"I don’t want to do this anymore."<br/>I curl tight into myself.<br/>"Waylon, please! I know you can remember if you try."<br/>I hold back tears and Eddie motions for the nurse.<br/>"Can you please show ms Park out? Waylon needs to rest."<br/>The nurse takes Lisa’s hand, speaking softly to her as they leave.<br/>"Remember what the doctor said, be gentle with him. We only allow visitation when we believe it beneficial to our patients. Don’t push him too far."<br/>Eddie scoops me into his arms and hand feeds me breakfast, crooning in my ear. <br/>He’s so good to me. Lisa must be mad to think I didn’t want this, right?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Daddy?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Waylon? You still with us?"<br/>
A doctor speaks and I snap back into focus. Everyone in the room is looking at me, Eddie squeezes my hand and Lisa gives me an expectant look.<br/>
"Umm... sorry?" I say softly<br/>
"I asked if you’d be comfortable talking about Lincoln?"<br/>
My mind is blank. I forgot what we were doing. After the last time Lisa visited us a nurse suggested doctor assistance to keep therapy safe for us. That’s what’s happening now, I guess.<br/>
I try to focus on the question asked.<br/>
"Who?"<br/>
Lisa’s face crumples. She seems to cry every time I forget something. I wish I could remember, it’s starting to make me feel guilty.<br/>
"Link, our son. He’s going to be eight this year." She sighs, covering her face. "He misses you."<br/>
"Oh."<br/>
I know I had a child, I had said it again and again in Mount Massive. Why can’t I remember his face?<br/>
How long had it been?<br/>
"Link?" I repeat the name, not recognising it’s taste on my tongue.<br/>
"Our little boy. You guys were so close. He asks me everyday when you’re coming home..."<br/>
I sit silently, my heart braking for this little boy I couldn’t remember.<br/>
"Do you have a picture?"<br/>
"Yes! I do!" Lisa passes me a folded picture from her purse and I look at it.<br/>
A small, smiling boy grins back at me, little tooth gap displayed and blond hair swept by the wind.<br/>
"A beautiful boy." Eddie says from over my shoulder.<br/>
Lisa’s breath intakes sharply before she mutters a thank you.<br/>
"He… looks like… me."<br/>
"Cause he’s your son, Way."<br/>
I nod before sliding the photo into my pocket<br/>
"Can… can I see him?"<br/>
Lisa’s face brightens. "Yes! I can bring him next week if you want."<br/>
The doctor steps in. "Ms Park. I really think we should wait before taking such a big step."<br/>
"No, this could be exactly what helps him get better. My son needs his dad. I know it’s a big risk but please, give us a chance.."<br/>
The doctor sighs. "I must check with the head of department. The visit will be from behind glass, we cannot risk the safety of a minor no matter how low we consider that risk."<br/>
"Of course, thank you."<br/>
"Well, as I said I won’t promise anything. Are you sure this is what you want, Waylon?"<br/>
I nod.<br/>
"I want to meet my son."</p><p> </p><p>Time moves differently here, hours can feel like weeks and weeks can feel like days. I lose track of time, focusing only on the present, which right now is Eddie.</p><p>He lays on the couch, fingers in my hair. We kiss slowly, lazily. I straddle him, my legs ether side of his hips. I cup his cheek, my eyes closed and lost in his taste. I’m about to slide my hand under his shirt when I freeze. We’re not alone.</p><p>"…daddy?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Link</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Drinking game! Take a shot every time someone says 'daddy' in this chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Daddy? What are you doing?"<br/>
I lift my gaze, lips leaving Eddie and eyes  meeting a little face that peers through the glass.<br/>
After a whole week of staring at a picture, trying to remember my son he stands before me in the flesh.<br/>
Suddenly this Is the last place I want to be.<br/>
Lisa steps into the room behind him, eyes fixed on us, our compromising position.<br/>
Eddie sits up, still holding me close and watches them through the glass.<br/>
Keeping my hand in his I get up, walking slowly across the room.<br/>
I wander to the glass and press my hand to it, feeling the coolness.<br/>
"Daddy I’ve missed you!"<br/>
The boy shouts through the glass and i cower away. The boy's lip trembles.<br/>
"What’s wrong?"<br/>
Lisa places her hand on his shoulder, I had forgotten her.<br/>
"Remember what I told you, honey? Daddy might not remember you, he’s not very well."<br/>
The boy appears to consider this before smiling at me<br/>
"That’s okay, Daddy! I’m Link and I like trains!"<br/>
I give him a soft smile, acting like this information is helpful.<br/>
"Yes... that’s right.... Link." My voice sounds disjointed to my own ears<br/>
Link turns his attention to Eddie and his brow furrows.<br/>
"Who are you?"<br/>
Eddie smiles wide. "I’m Eddie, it’s nice to meet you Lincoln."<br/>
Link nods. "Why are you cuddling daddy?"<br/>
I look down, not recalling exactly when Eddie’s hand took its place on my hip.<br/>
"Umm-… well, you see I love your… father. This makes him feel better."<br/>
I smile at Eddie’s use of my correct pronouns. I know how hard it has been for him, for both of us. We normally try to avoid gendered language.<br/>
Link looks confused before accepting this information and moving on.<br/>
"Daddy! We came here on a train!"<br/>
I smile but stay silent, Eddie speaks in my place.<br/>
"Really? A big one?"<br/>
"Yeah! It looked just like the one mum bought me at home!"<br/>
I watch them talk for some time before my eyes land on Lisa who seems to be arguing quietly with the doctor in the background, their voices too quiet for me to hear. When she notices me staring her brows knit.<br/>
"Link, we have to go soon okay?"<br/>
The little boy’s face crumples, reminding me too much of his mother.<br/>
"No, we can’t leave daddy! We just got here."<br/>
She gets on her knees before him.<br/>
"We have to, baby. Daddy can’t come home yet."<br/>
What? Home? She can’t mean that! Leaving with her would mean being away from Eddie. I don’t want to go.<br/>
I shrink into Eddie’s arms and grip him, shaking.<br/>
"No! I want Daddy now! I want to cuddle daddy!"<br/>
The child is crying now but I’ve blocked him out, consumed by my own worries.<br/>
I paw at Eddie and he picks me up, holding me like a bride in his arms.<br/>
"Don’t let them take me... please don’t let them."<br/>
I whisper madly into his ear. His grip becomes bruising on my skin.<br/>
"Darling, I would kill anyone who tried to take you from me. I’d die before I lost you."<br/>
I watch him, eyes wide. The antipsychotic meds he takes make him docile, he hardly ever talks of violence anymore.<br/>
I turn back to the window where the little boy stands. He’s stopped shouting but tears track down his cheeks, he stares at us, eyes filled with fear.<br/>
Lisa takes his hand, she’s also crying.<br/>
"Come on, link."<br/>
"Daddy’s scared, mummy. I don’t like it..."<br/>
I know I should stop, I should get out of Eddie’s arms and hug my son, tell him that I’d be home soon, that I’m getting better but I just can’t. I don’t know how to not be... like this.<br/>
"Daddy’s sick, baby. He’ll get better, the doctors are going to make him better."<br/>
I’m not sure who she’s trying to reassure.<br/>
"Say goodbye to daddy then you can go get a snack from the vending machine while the grownups talk."<br/>
He approaches the glass cautiously.<br/>
"Bye-bye daddy..."<br/>
He leaves the room and Lisa approaches the glass, glaring.<br/>
"Waylon, get down!" She hisses.<br/>
I don’t move from Eddie’s arms.<br/>
"God, you scared our son, it’s- it’s like you’re not even trying!"<br/>
I bury my face in Eddie’s vest. She’s right... God I’m pathetic.<br/>
His hand hits the glass and he snarls at her.<br/>
"Watch your tone, Lisa."<br/>
She laughs angrily. "This is insane! I can’t believe I’m even having this conversation-… You know what? Whatever. I’m taking link home. We’ll be back next week. He needs his father, Waylon."<br/>
Her voice softens at the end and she turns away. When the door shuts behind her I sob into Eddie’s shoulder.<br/>
"Darling, what’s the matter?"<br/>
Eddie carries me to our bed and lays me down in the dark room.<br/>
I cry harder.<br/>
"I- I know there’s something wrong with me but I can’t stop it! I’m such a mess..."<br/>
Eddie stays silent, rubbing my back until I settle into sleep, tear streaks tracking my cheeks.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Link: dahdee? 👁👄👁<br/>Waylon: DO I LOOK?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Therapy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lisa’s words stick with me. I start trying harder. <br/>I don’t cry the next time they suggest therapy with Eddie in the next room. I have my first session with my doctor where I’m not sitting on his lap. <br/>I try my best to speak when I’m asked questions even when all I want to do is crawl into a corner and sleep.<br/>"Waylon? You okay?" My therapist speaks from her chair, snapping me from my dissociative state.<br/>"Yes, sorry. What were you saying?"<br/>"I asked how you’re feeling about your new routine. It must be daunting for you."<br/>I nod. "I miss being with Eddie but I’m okay. I don’t want to burden him all the time."<br/>She nods.<br/>"I wouldn’t say that you’re a burden but a little space can be beneficial for any relationship."<br/>I smile at the validation. She believes we’re a real relationship!<br/>"Your wife and son are booked for visitation this Friday. How does that make you feel?"<br/>"Ex wife." I quickly correct her. "I don’t know. I don’t really remember them and that makes me feel bad. I’m a horrible father, aren’t I?"<br/>She shakes her head. "You’ve been through a great ordeal, Waylon. Your reaction to the things you’ve suffered is natural. Your son will understand when he’s older. For now, he has your wife."<br/>"Ex wife!" I insist and she apologises.<br/>"Yes but Waylon, your wedding with mr Gluskin wasn’t official or legal and you never filed for divorce with Lisa so according to the law she is still your wife."<br/>"No! You’re wrong! Our wedding was officiated by Father Martin."<br/>"And where is Father Martin?"<br/>"He… he died…" my voice becomes small.<br/>We sit in silence for a moment before I get to my feet, tears pricking my eyes.<br/>"I don’t care about the law! What I have with Eddie is real! I’ll…get a divorce if I have to."<br/>"Okay, Waylon but you’ll have to wait to leave the facility to do so, such legal decisions can’t be made while you’re here."<br/>I turn away. "I don’t want to talk anymore. I want Eddie"<br/>"Okay.." she placates me. "Can you tell me which days we have our sessions?"<br/>"Tuesday... Thursday and Saturday." I speak numbly<br/>"Yes and what day is it today?"<br/>"It’s Tuesday."<br/>"Good. I’ll see you again Thursday. If you need me before then just have your doctor call. I’ll be right here. You did very well today, Waylon."<br/>I shut down, not responding and she lets me back into our little living space where Eddie sits waiting for me.</p><p>"Darling! I missed you."<br/>He snuggles into my side as I sit down. I wonder if he knows... Our whole wedding was a sham! He was never my husband.<br/>No! <br/>I squeeze my eyes shut, trying not to hyperventilate.<br/>He is my husband no matter what they say! We’re in love! <br/>I should talk to Lisa. <br/>... I have to get a divorce.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Family</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I can divide numbers now, daddy! Do you wanna see?"<br/>My son sits on the floor of the small room, colouring book in his hand.<br/>"Sure." I say, giving him a little smile. <br/>Eddie sits on the other side of the glass talking to his doctor and I can’t stop my eyes drifting to him every few seconds.<br/>I told him about Lisa, about our wedding and my need for a legal divorce. I thought he’d be angry but he wasn’t, maybe his meds help him be calmer but he just agreed that I had to file for a divorce. In some way he seems happy, paper filled with sketches of dresses and wedding decor scatter the living room. He’s already planning our legal ceremony, the idea makes me giddy.<br/>I was going to talk to Lisa today but I won’t do it in front of our son, he doesn’t need to see that.<br/>Now we both sit with him as he plays. When I was first asked to step into the room I was gripped with terror but one look at that little boys face gave me the courage to face this new challenge.<br/>"Look! Look!" He shows me his colouring book, the numbers scribbled in pencil and I clap my hands.<br/>"That’s so good!" I smile, patting him on the shoulder. <br/>Lisa gives a little smile. "Are you having fun, honey?"<br/>Link nods. "Yeah! I’ve missed daddy!" <br/>He drops his book and pulls himself onto my lap. I only flinch for a second but mask it by curling my arms around his back. <br/>My eyes dart back to Eddie as the doctor leaves and we lock eyes.<br/>'I love you.' I mouth and he smiles.<br/>Link points. "Why’s he in there? Can he come out?"<br/>I laugh. "No but we can go in. You wanna say hi?"<br/>Link nods and I stand up taking his little hand.<br/>"Waylon, no-" Lisa interjects.<br/>"He won’t hurt him. He would never. "<br/>She looks to the doctor, who shrugs before speaking again.<br/>"Alright but I’m coming too."<br/>The doctor opens the door and we step through. <br/>"Darling! I’ve missed you."<br/>Eddie holds his arms out and for a second I forget myself and run to him.<br/>He scoops me into his arms and kisses me.<br/>"I see you’ve brought us guests."<br/>I nod and beckon my son over, standing back on my feet.<br/>"It’s good to see you again, Lincoln." Eddie greets him and offers his hand to shake.<br/>He lets out a surprised grunt when Link throws himself forward, hugging Eddie’s waist.<br/>"Hello Eddie." Link's voice is  muffled in Eddie’s clothes. <br/>Lisa takes a step forward but I stop her.<br/>"It’s okay. Eddie loves kids. Look at them" I whisper<br/>We both watch as Eddie gets onto his knees, animatedly looking through Link's colouring book and asking him about every picture. <br/>"I don’t like this, Way. I don’t like that you think you need him but I’ll admit it’s good to have you here. Link missed you so much."<br/>"Will you bring him with you every week?" I ask<br/>"I plan to, yeah." She responds.<br/>"Can you maybe come alone before then? I have to talk to you about something..."<br/>She looks anxious " uh sure.."<br/>We wait in silence for a while before she speaks again.<br/>"You seem to be talking more. do you think you’re feeling better?"<br/>I shrug and force a smile.<br/>"I don’t know."</p><p>Long after they’ve left I lay naked in Eddie’s arms, my modesty kept by the blankets of our bed.<br/>I cup his face, watching as emotions flood his eyes.<br/>"What is it?" I ask.<br/>He sighs. "I love your son. I love him like he were my own."<br/>I smile wide and kiss him. "That’s wonderful! You’ll make such a good stepfather."<br/>"But darling, I’m not a part of that world. I was not a part of your family and Lincoln's mother does not wish me to be."<br/>I think back to the way he had been excluded today. No wonder he didn’t feel like he belongs.<br/>"You aren’t a part of my family, you are my family. I hope that soon I’ll remember everything and have my memories of my son back but that won’t change how I feel. I love you. I’m marrying you." I giggle and kiss the tip of his nose. "For the second time..."<br/>"I made many poor decisions in that… horrible place but the one good decision was keeping you."<br/>I silence him with a kiss, half for love and half to stop his train of thought. We have an unspoken rule to not talk about what happened before the wedding, one he just broke.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Confrontation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"God, Waylon no..."<br/>I watch as Lisa’s eyes fill with tears. The second the word divorce left  my lips she started crying <br/>"I-I was told to expect this but I still can’t believe it." She heaves, and I offer her the box of tissues from the table which she thrusts away.<br/>"…I’m sorry." I speak timidly. <br/>"Then don’t do this. Please." <br/>I watch as this powerhouse of a woman appears to shrink before me.<br/>"Tell me one thing I’ve done to deserve this..."<br/>I take her shaking hand in mine and squeeze.<br/>"It’s because of him, isn’t it?"<br/>I nod. "I love him."<br/>"You love me!" She shouts causing me to flinch. Within moments she’s at my side, fingers clasping my chin. "I know you don’t remember right now but I know there’s a part of you that still loves me. Please don’t throw all that away..."<br/>She cries silently, her head on my shoulder and I glance nervously towards the door where the doctor stands.<br/>Eddie had been vacated to another room while we have this conversation and  the time away from him has left me on edge.<br/>"…just give it some more time. If you still want to get divorced after you leave here then I’ll agree, okay?"<br/>I pause before giving a stiff nod, what harm could it do? I can’t file until I leave anyway. <br/>"Thank you, Waylon." She whispers. "I love you."<br/>I give her a tight smile. "Thanks."<br/>We sit in silence until the door is open and Eddie is ushered in. <br/>I hop up and greet him with a smile and a kiss. He didn’t need to know that our conversation hadn’t gone well. <br/>"How’s my darling?" He asked softly in my ear. <br/>"Good." I mumble even though I certainly wasn’t feeling good. <br/>"Good afternoon, Lisa." He speaks lightly, eying her. <br/>"Hello, Eddie." She speaks curtly and I send her a pleading look. <br/>She makes an awkward little cough and stands up.<br/>"I’ll be bringing Link in a couple days. You’ve been very good with him."<br/>Eddie gives a smile. "Thank you. He’s a nice boy, very well spoken."<br/>I watch as they stiffly converse, keeping to small talk but it’s more than I expected from ether of them.<br/>I really hope they could be friends someday.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Date</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I- I don’t want to go..."<br/>I huddle by Eddie, the cold wind lashing at my skin. When I was first asked if I wanted to leave the facility on a day trip I was practically vibrating with excitement but now....<br/>"Why, Love? You were so looking forward to our date." Eddie whispers back.<br/>"I know but I thought it’d just be me and you..."<br/>I glare at the three other men lining up for the minibus.<br/>"Come now, dear. This was unexpected for us both but you must behave."<br/>Inside I wilt, I know he’s right. I’m acting like a bratty child but instead of apologising I pout and glare at the floor.<br/>"Just think about how nice it’ll be to leave the building. We haven’t seen the sky in such a long time."<br/>He tries to put his arm around me and I push him off, his words rubbing me the wrong way. <br/>"Oh. I didn’t realise you were so desperate to get out..."<br/>I mutter, eyes still downcast. <br/>"That’s not what I meant, darling. You must know I adore your company."<br/>His voice is full of hurt. Why am I doing this?<br/>"Sure." My words drip with sarcasm. <br/>He sighs and we fall into silence as we’re loaded onto the bus. I sit by the window, Eddie’s leg pressed against mine in the next seat. <br/>I face the window, trying to blink back angry tears. I don’t want to look at him, I don’t even wanna think about him.<br/>After ten minutes of silent driving his hand caresses my knee.<br/>"You must know that I’m awfully sorry for upsetting you."<br/>I don’t move, don’t turn to look at him. Why can’t I stop being upset?<br/>"I would never intentionally lead you to believe that I wished to be rid of you."<br/>I turn and glare at him, my hands clenching into fists.<br/>"If you want me gone I’d rather you told me!" I whisper angrily.<br/>"Darling no I-"<br/>"I get it." I cut him off. "Now you know we’re not actually married and you’re not stuck with me you want to leave. Tell me I’m wrong!"<br/>My voice barely lifts above a whisper but in my head I’m screaming. God tell me I’m wrong, please.<br/>"Don’t be ridiculous, darling. Why would you think that?"<br/>He looks incredulous.<br/>I desperately try to keep the tears back, he can’t know how much this has thrown me.<br/>"You told me..." I mutter, voice shaking.<br/>"What?" He sighs.<br/>"You begged me not to leave you. You said I was the only one who could save you. You can’t leave me now! I’m like this because of you!"<br/>My voice suddenly raises to a shout and the councillor comes over.<br/>"Mr park, is there a problem here?"<br/>I huddle back into myself. "No, ma'am. We were just talking."<br/>She looks sceptical. "Yes. Well, indoor voices please."<br/>We both nod and she leaves.<br/>Eddie doesn’t speak to me for the rest of the journey.</p><p>We arrive at an old diner miles from anything and panic raises in me. I want to reach for Eddie’s hand... but I can’t, can I?<br/>God, why did I have to be so horrible? Today was supposed to be good for us and I had to ruin it. I’m such a goddamn idiot. I should have my arms around him right now, I should be apologising. Why can’t I bring myself to say sorry?<br/>We’re led off the bus and into the diner where we’re sat in a large, circular booth. <br/>I stare at the menu. I’m not hungry. I don’t know what to have, I’m not used to having these choices anymore. <br/>I just sit still, waiting as everyone else decides what they want. <br/>I know they’re all waiting for me now but all I can do is spiral. I’m useless.<br/>"I- um...." my words won’t come.<br/>"Waylon will have the same as me." Eddie speaks, eyes locked on me.<br/>"That okay, Waylon?" The councillor asks and I nod quickly.<br/>I silently offer him my hand under the table and he grips it tightly.<br/>"Thank you." I whisper, any remaining anger leaving me.<br/>He nods but doesn’t respond.<br/>"Are you still upset at me?"<br/>He sighs. "I think we have a lot to talk about but that doesn’t matter right now because you need me." <br/>I rest my head on his shoulder. "I do."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Recovery</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning for smut</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"So, I heard the facilities power couple had a little spat yesterday."<br/>The therapist teases us lightly. Apparently since we had been caught fighting on the bus our argument had become the talk of our ward.<br/>I sigh. <br/>"It was stupid. I was being an idiot and I overreacted."<br/>"Darling, we need to talk about what happened. You aren’t happy, after yesterday that much is obvious."<br/>Eddie’s first response to our fight was medical intervention. He called for a therapist straight away.<br/>"Can you tell me what happened, Waylon?" <br/>"Eddie said something that upset me. I felt like he was fed up with me."<br/>"Why did you feel that way?"<br/>I bristle, covering my eyes. "I dunno. I just-..." I turn to Eddie. "You’re going to get tired of me."<br/>"I would never. You saved me from that dreadful place, you love me despite what I am. I’m never letting you go."<br/>" you must understand, mr park that if Eddie did wish to end this relationship that he would have every right to, just as you do." <br/>I shake my head at the therapist, hating to even think about the scenario they have suggested.<br/>"No, you’re wrong."<br/>"How so?"<br/>I keep silent, tears rolling down my cheeks.<br/>"Waylon said..that I made-… that I did this." Eddie says, eyes full of pain.<br/>I think back to my outburst on the bus.<br/>He can’t leave me because he’s the whole reason I have these problems in the first place. He caught me in Mount Massive. He dressed me up and threatened me with surgery. He can’t destroy everything I was then just dump me. It’s not right.<br/>"You feel entitled to mr Gluskin's company because of the trauma you suffered at his hands during your time as a prisoner of Murkoff?"<br/>I nod. I don’t want to talk about what happened there in front of someone else. <br/>"Mr gluskin was not in his right mind. He was deprived of the medication he needs to function and his perception of reality had been warped by exposure to the Morphogenic engine. We do not know much of what happened in the fifteen days before you were extracted but we consider Mr gluskin a fellow victim of Murkoff's abuse not a perpetrator."<br/>I hang my head. They’re right. Eddie didn’t ask for this, he doesn’t even remember most of it.<br/>"That being said, your feelings are valid and if you believe that mr Gluskin has caused you harm then this could be a subject useful to explore."<br/>I take Eddie’s hand.<br/>"I’m sorry. I know you feel horrible for what happened, I shouldn’t blame you. I should blame Blaire for putting us both through this."<br/>"You have every right to be angry at me, darling. I swear if I could take everything back and woo you anew I would."<br/>I kiss him, long and yearning. We had slept apart for the first time last night and I doubt ether of us got any rest. I begged him not to sleep on the couch. I wanted him with me. Politely, he refused. <br/>We have to make up for lost time.<br/>He pulls back and clears his throat awkwardly. The therapist sits still, eyes averted. <br/>"May we leave, please? My darling and I have some things to… ahem… discuss."<br/>"Yes, you may. I’ll book you both another session next week."<br/>We are escorted out of the room and back to our safe little home.</p><p>He pushes me down onto my knees, pupils dilated with lust. He strips before me, fully naked and aroused in seconds.<br/>I gape at him, my eyes wide. He runs his thumb over my lower lip.<br/>"Such a pretty mouth..."<br/>He strokes himself, taking my chin in his hand and pulling me towards him.<br/>I eagerly take the hint, pressing sloppy kisses to the head of his cock. <br/>He groans and fists both hands in my hair, forcing me forward so that I take him further into my mouth.<br/>I hollow my cheeks, sucking all around him but he still isn’t satisfied. He pushes me down until his head hits the back of my throat and my nose is buried in the curls of his pubic hair. I gag, my throat convulsing around his girth. We lock eyes even as I blink back tears. I keep sucking, keep bobbing my head and running my tongue over the bottom of his shaft. He toes my cock with his foot and I moan around him, sending vibrations through his length. <br/>"Oh, darling-… Incredible." <br/>He continues teasing me through the cloth of my underwear and the noises coming from my mouth get louder. I reach down, palming myself as he fucks my mouth, the tip of his cock deep down my throat. <br/>Lips still wrapped around the base of his shaft I moan, loving his complete show of power and control over my body. <br/>"Fuck!" He shouts before tearing out of my throat and finishing all over my face. <br/>He stands, watching me as i wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.<br/>"You’re beautiful."<br/>I let out a little laugh and use his discarded shirt to clean the stickiness off my face. <br/>"Feel better?" I ask, my voice hoarse. <br/>"No." He says, smirk appearing on his lips. "Not yet. Not until I’ve made you do that.."<br/>I grin, eyes shining as I continue to palm my erection. </p><p>I squeal as he throws me down onto the bed, landing on top of me. I press my face into my pillow as he kisses down my back, <br/>He grips the flesh of my butt in his hand and pulls my cheeks apart.<br/>"What are you doing?"<br/>"Returning the favour, darling." <br/>His head dips and suddenly I feel his tongue, warm and wet swipe over my hole. <br/>My body stiffens. The sensation is weird. How did he learn to do this?<br/>He flicks the tip of his tongue and electric pleasure shoots up my spine.<br/>"Oh god Eddie!"<br/>I say his name like a prayer as he eats me out, sucking and licking at my entrance with vigour. <br/>My dick strains, desperate to find any friction against the sheets. I whine, loud and immodest as his tongue penetrates me, making my hips squirm.<br/>I reach down and stroke my cock to the rhythm his tongue creates as it dips in and out of me. <br/>"I’m so close, Eddie, more, please."<br/>I close my eyes as he sucks harder, his tongue flicking fast sending me over the edge.<br/>I release into my hand, sobbing with relief and joy.<br/>I watch him over my shoulder, cheeks red as he pulls back, a long string of saliva connecting his lips to my hole. The sight sends euphoria rushing through my body. <br/>"That… was so hot..." I pant and he licks his lips.<br/>"My darling tastes so good.." he pulls me into a kiss, leaving the taste of myself on my lips. <br/>"You came alive for me, my sweet. I will remember to do that more often."<br/>I laugh and pull him onto me, our chests flush together. <br/>"I love you." I mutter. "Sorry I went crazy."<br/>"We’re both a little crazy, it’s why we’re here. We’re healing together. Just a little longer and we can start our life for real, yes?"<br/>I kiss him again, sweaty and exhausted but filled with love.<br/>I settle into his arms finally finding sleep when knocking comes from the window of the facility. <br/>I groan. What now?<br/>Eddie gets up and walks irritably to the door <br/>"Oh god no! Cover yourself!" I hear Lisa’s voice ring through the room.<br/>"Oh, It’s you. Visitation is on Fridays, why are you here?"<br/>"Can you just get Waylon? We’ve got to talk."<br/>"We’re busy right now." I can almost hear his shit eating grin.<br/>"Oh for fuck sake, WAYLON!" <br/>She calls me and I get up and scramble to find my pants, taking Eddie’s trousers from the floor to bring for him.<br/>"Wait, hang on."<br/>I hop out in just my underwear and Lisa cringes. <br/>"Christ, can’t the two of you be fully clothed for once?"<br/>I laugh as she covers her eyes. I give Eddie his trousers and he quickly shucks them on. <br/>"I can’t tell you how not ready I am to process the sight of your weird boyfriends junk..."<br/>I glare at her but she keeps talking.<br/>"I mean I really don’t want to think ab-… oh, my god." <br/>She’s staring at the leg of Eddie’s trouser which I finally notice has a big white stain. <br/>He looks sheepish. "I’ll change. Okay, darling?"<br/>He leaves the room and I meet Lisa’s eyes. She looks tired. <br/>"I’m sorry."<br/>"Waylon, I don’t even want to know. We’re not talking about it."<br/>"It’s not Friday, what do you need to talk about?"<br/>"Your release, Waylon. We’re getting you out."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Discussion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"What? That’s impossible I- I can’t leave."<br/>
A doctor steps into the room behind Lisa and frowns at the look on my face.<br/>
"Ms park, I thought I advised you to approach this situation cautiously."<br/>
He looks annoyed but my mind is too busy reeling to care.<br/>
" I won’t let you take me! I won’t!"<br/>
"Shh, Waylon, listen-"<br/>
"No! Shut up! You can’t take me away from Eddie!"<br/>
At the sound of my distress the man hurries from our bedroom, buttons of his shirt still mostly undone.<br/>
"Darling, what is it? Please don’t cry.."<br/>
I touch my cheek, unsure when the tears had started.<br/>
I curl into his arms, gripping him tightly.<br/>
"Th-they want to take me away..." I heave, sobbing freely now.<br/>
Eddie jumps to the defensive,pushing me behind him and baring his teeth in a threatening smile at the people behind the glass.<br/>
"Nobody is taking you, love." He speaks through gritted teeth.<br/>
"Gentlemen, please. We can discuss this." The doctor speaks and Eddie approaches the glass.<br/>
"That would be lovely but I will not promise to be civilised when you are threatening my family."<br/>
"Nobody is threatening mr park, we only wish to discuss his future release."<br/>
Eddie seems to relax and steps back towards me, lifting my shaking body into his arms.<br/>
"Very well. You may come in but you have to leave when you’re finished talking." He says cautiously. I seem to have forgotten how to speak.<br/>
The doctor unlocks the door and Lisa steps inside. I hadn’t felt threatened by her in weeks... or had it been months now?<br/>
Now all I can see is a threat to my life, to my family.<br/>
"Waylon, I’m sorry I upset you. Maybe you’d be more comfortable if you put some clothes on." Lisa speaks pointedly.<br/>
Both Eddie and I look down, eyes scanning my half naked body.<br/>
I shake my head, clinging around Eddie’s neck.<br/>
"Come Waylon. We’ll go find you some clothes"<br/>
Eddie stands, still holding me and takes us to the bedroom, not acknowledging our unwelcome guests.<br/>
He sits me on the bed and rifles through my drawer for clean clothes. He takes a beige shirt and jeans. He dresses me like I’m a child when I make no move to dress myself.<br/>
Once I’m appropriately covered he opens his arms and I crawl into them.<br/>
"Ready, darling?"<br/>
I nod despite not being ready at all and he takes me back into the main room.</p><p>I sit in Eddie’s lap, refusing to move even after being chastised by Lisa.<br/>
"While I would have rather warmed up to this situation," the doctor shoots Lisa a look. "You understand we wish to discuss your discharge from the facility, mr park."<br/>
I nod.<br/>
"Well, we are all very impressed with your progress and you appear to be reacting well to your medication so as soon as next month we could be looking at  readying you for life outside this building."<br/>
I shake my head struggling to find my voice.<br/>
"N-not without Eddie.." my voice cracks.<br/>
"Don’t worry mr Park. Integration into the outside world would be a slow progression. We would begin with supervised days out with Lisa and your son. From there we can work up to overnight stays and further."<br/>
"No, I won’t go if he can’t come.."<br/>
I grip Eddie, pulling my legs up and rubbing my face on his neck.<br/>
"Oh for fucks sake…" Lisa whispers before addressing me. "You can bring him too if it means that you’ll at least try."<br/>
"I- I don’t know.."<br/>
"Link needs his dad, Way. Once a week isn’t enough."<br/>
I sigh, remembering my son, remembering the way his little hand felt in mine.<br/>
"What do you think?" I turn to Eddie.<br/>
"I don’t see the harm, darling. Perhaps we can make this progress together."</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Outdoors</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Keeping me stable over the next month was definitely no easy task. I couldn’t keep my anxiety down and demanded multiple times that I couldn’t and wouldn’t leave the facility.<br/>
My eyes close and I purse my lips. Why did I think I could do this? Why did I ever let anyone convince me I could do this?<br/>
Lisa watches me through the glass, Link in her arms. She looks worried but keeps her smile plastered on.<br/>
"The doctor said your escort will meet us at the entrance. I’ve signed you out for the next four hours, okay?"<br/>
I nod, barely listening as my hands shake. Eddie takes my arm, trying to calm me.<br/>
"Do you have everything you need?" Lisa looks between us.<br/>
"Yes. Thank you." Eddie says, smiling. "You Ready, darling?"<br/>
I give a little smile. "Not at all." I say before pulling Eddie forwards and out the door.<br/>
We head through the ward, Lisa leading the way. Link watches me sleepily from over her shoulder.<br/>
"Hi daddy.." he says through a yawn and I grin.<br/>
"Hey little guy." I take his little hand for a second and press a kiss to it.<br/>
Lisa smiles. "He’s just woke up from a nap, haven’t you, sleepy boy?"<br/>
Link nods and mumbles to himself.<br/>
We reach the entrance and I watch the sky, a smile spreading over my lips.<br/>
"Wow." I speak softly and Eddie gives a little nod.<br/>
"I know."<br/>
We stand side by side in the open air for a still moment. Lisa watches us disjointedly, it’s like she knows this is a moment she can’t begin to understand.<br/>
How could she? She hadn’t been held prisoner, hadn’t thought she’d die without ever seeing the sun again...<br/>
"Come on guys!" Our escort walks over and the moment ends.<br/>
We all pile into Lisa's car, Eddie and I on ether side of Link who sits in his booster seat in the back.<br/>
"Umm… where are we going?" I ask nervously.<br/>
"There’s a park nearby that you used to like. I thought we could have a picnic, Link can play in the park."<br/>
Link grins from his seat, fully awake now and excited.<br/>
I smile a little at my son, his joy contagious.<br/>
"That… actually sounds nice."</p><p>We arrive in less than ten minutes and I survey the secluded area, my heart skipping at the sight of so much nature.<br/>
I want to touch the grass, to feel the dirt and the bark on the trees.<br/>
I have to remind myself that I’m not alone, that Lisa and my son are watching.<br/>
Link takes my hand, trying to pull me forward into the park.<br/>
"Come on, dad! I want to go on the swings."<br/>
Lisa gives a soft little smile.<br/>
"Eat first, baby. You can go play later."<br/>
He pouts but let’s go of my hand and follows her to a corner of the park shaded by trees.<br/>
We sit down on the blanket she pulled from the boot of her car.  I lean against Eddie, fingers running through the strands of grass. A ladybird crawls over my finger and I lift it up to show everyone... to show my family.<br/>
"Daddy’s got a bug, mum." Link squeals and Lisa gives a strange little smile.<br/>
"You never would’ve done that before. You used to hate any creepy crawlies."<br/>
I laugh, tipping my head back. How could I have been afraid of any of this? After so long locked away, the outside feels like a privilege that can’t ever be taken for granted.<br/>
Eddie picks a yellow dandelion from the grass and holds it out to me.<br/>
"A flower, for my darling." He smiles, teeth on display.<br/>
I laugh. "Eddie, that’s a weed!"<br/>
His face falls a little and I quickly snatch it from him and tuck it behind my ear.<br/>
"I love it. It’s perfect."<br/>
He presses a soft kiss to the tip of my nose.<br/>
"Eww gross!" Link giggles and Lisa grabs him, wrestling him into her arms and  peppering kisses into  his hair.<br/>
"Oh yeah? I thought you liked kisses?" He squeals with laughter as they play fight.  I squeeze Eddie’s hand as we watch them.<br/>
Lisa looks so alive with our son in her arms and I truly realise for the first time that I love her.<br/>
Maybe not in the same way I used to love her but I know I want her in my life even if it’s only as a friend.<br/>
Link stuffs a few sandwiches into his mouth before running into the little play area and leaving us alone.<br/>
"Thank you for this Lisa, really. It’s amazing here."<br/>
She grins, her eyes shining.<br/>
Maybe things won’t be so bad.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Love you guys.<br/>Especially my holly 🙈</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Home sweet home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>(Ten weeks later.)<br/>
"Welcome home..."<br/>
Lisa speaks in a soft voice. It’s not the first time we had come back to this house but today Is different, we have the whole weekend.<br/>
Eddie hangs back a little wringing his hands, it had taken a lot of begging to get the doctors to allow him to stay away for the weekend and even more for him to agree to stay over with me.<br/>
I had unofficially been released to Lisa’s care but had the freedom to return to the facility anytime I needed for the next year. The doctors declared my condition stable and my medication effective. I still have to return three times a week for therapy but as long as I have a chaperone I can leave.<br/>
We drop our bags in the living room and I reach for Eddie’s hand. He holds me close and gives a nervous little smile.<br/>
"Again, Lisa, I much appreciate your hospitality."<br/>
She gives a tight smile. "You’re welcome, Eddie."<br/>
Even after weeks of visits and day trips together things are still a little tense. I try my best to keep myself between them and make things easier but today I have my own worries to deal with.<br/>
"I’d love to make dinner to show my gratitude."  Eddie returns and Lisa shrugs.<br/>
"If that’s what you want, man. I hate cooking." She walks away to find Link and we stand alone in the room.<br/>
I pull him into a slow kiss, my teeth grazing his lower lip.<br/>
"Darling.." he whispers, "we shouldn’t."<br/>
He leans Back and I sigh. Lisa had made us swear not to display our affection so publicly when Link Is around.<br/>
I fought this, disgusted by the idea of being made to keep apart under any circumstances but we negotiated that we both remain fully clothed and kiss briefly while he’s around.<br/>
I roll my eyes, petulantly sticking out my lip.<br/>
Just as we step apart Link barrels into the room, wrapping his arms around my waist.<br/>
"Daddy! Come see my bedroom, mum let me get a bunk bed!"<br/>
He pulls me by the hand up the stairs and into his little bedroom.<br/>
He dutifully shows me every new toy he received while I had been gone and then demands I sit and watch his train set.<br/>
After a little while he distracts himself playing and I slip out and downstairs. I walk into the kitchen and watch silently as Eddie and Lisa quietly converse.<br/>
"Link is allergic to pepper and he doesn’t like mushrooms." Lisa mumbles<br/>
"Okay. I will do my best to remember. What do you enjoy?"<br/>
She tilts her head a little. "I dunno, I’ll eat whatever. Waylon is lactose intolerant though."<br/>
"...I am?" I speak up and they both jump.<br/>
"Darling, I didn’t notice you."<br/>
Eddie takes my hand, pulling me into a hug.<br/>
I laugh. "Sorry." My eyes turn to Lisa. "I can’t eat cheese?"<br/>
She shakes her head. "Nope. It makes you sick. I wouldn’t test it if I were you."<br/>
I snort and pluck a slice of tomato from the cutting board, popping it into my mouth.<br/>
"That’s not for you!" Eddie swats my hand playfully.<br/>
"Who are they for then?"<br/>
"They’re going on the salad, for dinner."<br/>
Lisa gives a little snort and takes a couple peppers, swallowing them quick before Eddie can say anything. He gawks looking between us, eyes gleaming before he throws up his hands.<br/>
"I am surrounded by children!"</p><p> </p><p>We enjoy our first meal at home all together.<br/>
Link eats messily with his little hands and tells Lisa about his school day. I watch Eddie eat stiffly with his knife and fork, eyes downcast.<br/>
I grin and pick up a pea from my plate. I flick it at him and it bounces into his lap, he looks at me incredulously.<br/>
"Darling! Why would you do that?"<br/>
I shrug and flick another which he catches and pops into his mouth. I giggle when he returns fire with one of his own.<br/>
Link squeals and claps his hands.<br/>
"Guys! Please don’t teach him to throw food." Lisa scolds lightly and I aim a baby carrot her way.<br/>
She nudges my shoulder and laughs, eyes creasing with carefree joy.<br/>
We finish our food  and I offer to clear up seeing as Eddie cooked. Lisa disappears upstairs to bathe Link and put him to bed.<br/>
He gives me a hug and rubs his cheek sleepily against my shirt.<br/>
"Night night daddy.."<br/>
I kiss his hair and he follows his mum up to bed.<br/>
I settle onto the sofa, Eddie’s arm curled around my shoulders. We watch the tv with the volume down low.<br/>
"I am so blessed to share this part of your life, darling."<br/>
Eddie speaks in my ear and I look up into his eyes.<br/>
"I love you." I say simply and press my lips softly onto his.<br/>
We spend a few moments lost in one another before pulling apart just as Lisa steps into the room.<br/>
"Link's gone down. He’s had a long day."<br/>
She drops into her chair, glass of wine in her hand.<br/>
"You guys can have the guest bedroom, it’s upstairs at the end of the hall." She clears her throat. "Please try to…um… not make too much noise. Link is a light sleeper."<br/>
I nod, understanding what she means and giving her a reassuring little smile.<br/>
"Thank you, way. I know it means the world to him to have his dad back home."<br/>
I smile. "I know. I want to be here for him."<br/>
We fall into a silence, letting the tv drown out any discomfort. After a while Lisa stretches and polishes off the remainder of her drink.<br/>
"Well I’m knackered. I’m heading to bed..."<br/>
"Okay. We both have to take our medication then we’ll come up too."<br/>
I say, watching her as she shuts off the tv and hallway lights.<br/>
"Alright. See you tomorrow." She hops up the steps and moments later we hear a door close above us.<br/>
We head to the kitchen and I open the little bag which contains two plastic pots one labelled 'Gluskin' and the other 'Park'. I open my pot and take my pills. I watch as Eddie does the same, pouring himself a glass of water from the tap.<br/>
I take his hand and together we head upstairs for our first night outside the facility.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I’m sorry for the time skip but if you’re following my other fic I’m having some problems<br/>I hope you enjoyed</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Slut</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning for smut</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I sit down onto the bed, smoothing the pale sheets under my fingers. The room is warmer than the one at our facility and ghostly quiet. Eddie joins me, flopping down onto the bed.<br/>"Are you tired, darling?"<br/>His fingers brush over my bare arm and I lean into him.<br/>"No..." I speak softly and fiddle with the buttons of his pyjama shirt. "We normally go to bed later than this. Do you remember what we do to help me sleep?"<br/>I lean in to kiss him, my teeth grazing his lower lip. After a few seconds he pulls away and I watch him through my eyelashes.<br/>"We shouldn’t, darling." His hand brushes through my hair. "We don’t want to wake anyone up." <br/>I give a quiet little whine and roll onto him, my thumb tracing his jaw.<br/>"But I wanna..." I stick out my lip and he sighs playfully.<br/>"Are you sure you can stay quiet? It really wouldn’t be fair to your ex wife." <br/>I give a little nod, mimicking zipping my lips. <br/>He leans in and kisses me again, fingers already working at my clothes.<br/>I jostle the bed a little, listening to the slight squeak.<br/>"Too loud." Eddie whispers and slips down onto the floor at the side of the bed. "Come here."<br/>I slip out of my underwear and drop naked onto his lap, my hand resting on the tent of his briefs. <br/>He preps me, fingers entering from underneath me and probing my insides. <br/>I squirm, languidly stroking myself. Eddie’s fingers twist before resting against my prostate and sending an electric jolt through my body. <br/>"Oh..."<br/>I whisper, fingers curling on the nearby bedsheets. <br/>"Are you enjoying yourself? Is this what my darling needs?"<br/>I nod and twist my hips, needing more, needing him.<br/>"Eddie… more..." I pull back his underwear and set his erection free. "Inside me.... please." My speech is ragged as I pant for air but he understands.<br/>He takes himself firmly in his own hand and pulls me backwards. I ease down on his dick, clamping both hands over my mouth to stifle the moan that escapes my lips. <br/>"Shhh…" Eddie quiets me while his hips thrust up into me. I squeeze my eyes shut and cling to him as he grasps my hips, fucking me on his lap.<br/> He slows down, his pace lazy as he strokes my dick.<br/>"Oh…god." My speech is muffled in his neck but louder than I expected.<br/>"Such a noisy mouth, darling. It’s almost like you want to wake the whole house. You want everyone to see your husband claim you like this, don’t you?"<br/>I throw my head back, teeth sinking Into the flesh of my lower lip to stop the cry that lodges in my throat. <br/>"Yes! Eddie, Yes! Faster! Harder!"<br/>I speak quietly but urgently,  my hips thrusting to meet his pace. <br/>I kiss him hard, our tongues aching for a taste of the other. <br/>"So close… please." I pant and he wraps his hand around my length.<br/>My body sings for him… almost there…<br/>"Such a slut for me, darling." <br/>I cum hard, body rigid but I suddenly feel numb. <br/>…You want to leave me? Go! You and the rest of these ungrateful sluts!…<br/>That wasn’t Eddie’s voice, that was the groom.<br/>I get off his lap, my eyes wide and unblinking. I grab my boxers, pulling them over my legs, suddenly ashamed of my nakedness.<br/>"Darling? Where are you going?"<br/>I twist the door handle. "Bathroom."<br/>I stumble into the hall, finding my way to the bathroom and locking the door. <br/>I slump on the toilet seat and drop my head into my hands. <br/>For the first time in ages I cry. I heave into my hands, leaking all my heartache into the thin toilet roll. <br/>Why did he have to say that? Fuck! Don’t we have enough problems already?<br/>I sit in the dark bathroom and sob until my throat feels torn and my eyes are red raw.<br/>I head back to the guest room and don’t bother to look at Eddie, who sits at the end of the bed.<br/>"Darling, what happened? I don’t understand..."<br/>His concerned gaze burns into me.<br/>"Not now Eddie." I brush him off, climbing into bed and facing the wall.<br/>Without another word I shut off the lamp, plunging us into darkness. <br/>I don’t sleep a wink all night.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Morning after</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Darling, please. Tell me what I did wrong."<br/>Eddie follows me around the room as I dress myself for breakfast. I don’t respond. I don’t even look at him. <br/>"I’ve done nothing but think all night and I don’t know what happened. Why are you doing this?"<br/>I pull my shirt on, lips tight. He’s playing with fire. <br/>"…please." He sits down on the bed, head lowered.<br/>I bristle. He has no right to look so pathetic.<br/>"You want to know what you did? Okay!" I snap, turning to him. "Do you remember what you said when you came in me last night?"<br/>I hiss, my eyes narrowed. I don’t give him time to respond.<br/>"You called me a slut! You said those words to me after everything you know we’ve been through!"<br/>His mouth falls open and his eyes fill with emotion. <br/>"Oh god." <br/>My eyes squeeze shut as he comes to stand before me,<br/>"I don’t want to talk about it."<br/>"Waylon, I’m really sorry. I don’t know what to say I-"<br/>"Enough." I snap. "I’m going to have a shower then we’ll have breakfast. We’re not going to talk about this right now."<br/>My voice quivers but I keep my eyes on him. I turn and leave, heading for the bathroom. </p><p>When I get downstairs everyone is already awake and eating breakfast.<br/>"Good morning." I speak cheerily to Lisa, trying to mask the way my voice wants to shake. <br/>She gives a little groan and waves her hand, gesturing to her coffee with a 'don’t talk to me' motion. <br/>I suck in a breath and scan the table before taking my seat. Eddie shuffles in from the other room, a plate of sliced fruit in his hand.<br/>"Darling! How was your shower?"<br/>He sits beside me and I have to make a conscious effort not to shift away.<br/>"Fine." I respond, my tone clipped. "Lisa, will you pass the orange juice?"<br/>Her eyebrows raise but she passes the jug. I thank her, pointedly ignoring Eddie as he drops fruit onto my plate.<br/>"So... what’s the plan for today?" I ask, my voice a little too high.<br/>Lisa shrugs. "Figured we could have a lazy morning then head to the park sometime later."<br/>I nod and we sit in silence. After a few minutes of this Eddie clears his throat.<br/>"Well, if you’ll excuse me I wish to shower."<br/>Lisa nods and I don’t respond so he shuffles from the room.<br/>Lisa gives me a look before turning to Link.<br/>"Why don’t you go watch cartoons, honey? Mummy and daddy will be right in."<br/>Link grins and jumps from his seat, running to the living room and leaving us alone.<br/>"Okay, what happened?"<br/>I huff. "Nothing, why?"<br/>"You’re in one of your moods. You used to do that to me when I upset you."<br/>I cover my face with both my hands. "Shit. It’s that obvious?"<br/>She shrugs and takes my hands away. "We’ve been married for a long time. You pick up on these things."<br/>She pats my shoulder. "Wanna talk about it?"<br/>I sigh. "It’s dumb. Just something he said..." I trail off and shake my head.<br/>"It’s not dumb if it upset you. I don’t know what happened but it’s okay to be mad at him. It is possible to love someone and be angry with them. Look at us, I used to piss you off all the time and you loved me for years..."<br/>Her voice turns small and she looks away. I squeeze her hand.<br/>"I still love you, Lisa. Just not in the same way I used to. I need you in my life. You’re my family."<br/>She grins and quickly blinks back her tears. <br/>"Yeah, well I’m sure you idiots will sort things out. I’ll tell him to just give you some flowers or something. That’s what I used to do."<br/>She pats my back before dragging me into the living room to find our son. <br/>When we enter Eddie is already inside, Link practically sits in his lap as he talks about the cartoon playing on the TV. I guess we were longer than I thought. <br/>"Darling! I was just coming to find you but Lincoln wanted to show me… what was it again?"<br/>Link hops up and whispers in his ear.<br/>"..Ah yes. This show about rabbits he likes."<br/>"Yes. Peter rabbit. It’s been his favourite for years. He’s always wanted a rabbit of his own but I’m allergic."<br/>Eddie’s eyes light up. <br/>"Really? Because I know both Waylon and myself want pets when we get a house of our own, maybe then we can get one for him."<br/>Link squeals and claps his hands, squeezing Eddie’s arm in excitement.<br/>"What do you think, darling?"<br/>I look away, turning irritably to the window. The room falls into an uncomfortable silence and time seems to still. <br/>Lisa clears her throat. "…uhm, I’m gonna take Link to the park for a bit. We’re going to be gone for 30 minutes, I think the two of you should talk."<br/>She shoots me a meaningful look and ushers Link into the hallway to put his shoes on. <br/>"Don’t break anything." She speaks over her shoulder and a few moments later we hear the sound of the door shutting.<br/>"Darling..."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Listen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"We need to talk about this, don’t we?" I stand before him, arms crossed tightly over my chest.<br/>"Yes. I would like to apologise, would that be okay?"<br/>I sigh. "I’m listening."<br/>Eddie lowers his eyes and shakes his head.<br/>"...You know that I remember very little of the things I did before we met. The doctors think it’s my brain blocking out such painful memories."<br/>"I know, but that doesn’t-" <br/>"Darling, listen. Please." He holds up one hand as I interrupt him, eyes full of pain.<br/>I purse my lips, I know I should let him speak but it’s so hard when I’m so angry.<br/>"I know this doesn’t excuse what I did. Trust me, the things I have done haunt me everyday. But I honestly meant no harm, if I believed my words would upset you I would never have said anything."<br/>He reaches for my hands and I step backwards.<br/>"It doesn’t matter if you meant it or not, Eddie. I don’t want to act like nothing happened, it’s not fair."<br/>"I know it’s not. You must know that I never want to think of you in a way that disrespects you. You’re not a slut, not at all. You’re my angel. I love you and I know how lucky I am that you even let me be a part of your life. Please believe  me, Waylon. I love you."<br/>I sink down onto the sofa beside him, still an arms distance away. <br/>"I know you do. But that’s not enough. I need to set boundaries. You will never  refer to me as a slut or anything of the sort again."<br/>"Yes. Of course!" He grasps both my hands and kneels before me. "Anything you need. I need you, please don’t leave me..."<br/>He presses frantic kisses to my knuckles and I can’t bring myself to pull away.<br/>"Eddie, don’t do that. Come on, sit up here."<br/>He follows my orders, tearful eyes fixed on me.<br/>I squeeze his hand.<br/>"I’m not going to leave you but we have to talk about this. I want you to listen to me, please. Even if what I say hurts you to hear."<br/>"Yes, yes. Darling, go ahead."<br/>I take a deep breath and start talking. I tell him every memory I have from the second we met. The saw-blade and the  room filled with hanging bodies. My fall down the elevator shaft and my broken leg. Everything until he caught me and the engines effects wore off. <br/>"You dressed me up and we... had our wedding. After that you were wonderful. I suppose that you were right about being a different man after the ceremony."<br/>I give a grim smile and wipe the tears from my eyes with the back of my hand. <br/>"I remember clearly from this point onwards. Darling I-... I truly am sorry."<br/>He leans forwards and presses his cheek to my shoulder. <br/>"I know, Eddie. You put me through hell but you.... you went through hell too. I want us to work through this together then we can get married for real."<br/>His body sags in relief and he begins to cry.<br/>I shush him as he shakes, gripping my torso. <br/>"I’m sorry... I’m so sorry, darling."<br/>"I know. Eddie, it’s gonna be alright."<br/>I pull up my knees and take his face in my hands. He blinks back his tears.<br/>"I don’t deserve you, Waylon." <br/>I give a sad little grin and pull him into a kiss, not knowing what to say.<br/>"How long do we have until they’re due back?" I ask, my voice soft.<br/>Eddie checks his watch.<br/>"Ten minutes, darling." <br/>"Lay with me. I want to cuddle."<br/>He follows my command quickly, his arms curling around me from behind. <br/>I lay down on my side, pulling him with me. <br/>He runs his hand gently through my hair. <br/>I soon find myself drifting and I let my eyes close.</p><p>...</p><p>"…yeah, Waylon's been out for a while. I can make lunch if you take Link upstairs. He needs to rest."<br/>Eddie’s voice fades in, interrupting my sleep. He speaks softly and I keep my eyes closed, biting back my smile.<br/>"Uh...Sure. Did you guys sort things out?"<br/>Lisa’s voice. I stay still, listening. Eddie sighs.<br/>"I think so...I need to be better for him, I know that. I’ve done so many things I regret..."<br/>I listen to the silence, to Lisa’s strange pause. <br/>"…Really?" She clears her throat. "Well, I’ve got some work to do. I’ll take Link with me. We can eat when Waylon gets up."<br/>I listen to her leave and Eddie gives a little huff. He lays back down behind me, his arms wrapping around me. <br/>I let myself sink back into sleep, not bothering to give their conversation much thought.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Separation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After weeks of overnight visits and day trips we begin to fall into a comfortable routine. Lisa would bring us home and we would watch a movie, head to bed after dinner and head out next morning. We would take Link all kinds of places, my favourite had definitely been the zoo. <br/>Some days Lisa would be called into work and Eddie and I would watch over Link for a couple hours. These days are Eddie’s favourite. He loves to spoil the little boy with sweets and attention. We would play games and Eddie would cook so dinner would be ready when Lisa got home. Our family finally feels complete and I’ve never been so happy. </p><p>I lay across the sofa, my head In Eddie’s lap. Since our fight Eddie has been the most gentle and docile I have ever seen him. He seems to swoon every time I smile and it makes my heart swell.<br/>We’re waiting to be picked back up from our room at the facility, leaving used to make me nervous but now it just comes easy. <br/>I glance at my watch and over to the glass panel, she’s never late. <br/>"Eddie, it’s ten past already. I hope she’s okay..."<br/>He squeezes my hand. "I’m sure she’s absolutely fine, darling."<br/>I sigh and we fall back into silence, watching as the minutes tick by. <br/>Finally, almost an hour later a commotion stirs outside our room and the door swings open, clattering into the wall.<br/>Lisa stands, hair tied severely and stone faced. <br/>I get up and wander to the window to greet her.<br/>"Lisa! I was worried, why are you so late?"<br/>She ignores me. Eyes turning to the doctor who scurries in behind her. <br/>"Get him out, please."<br/>He looks uncomfortable but unlocks our door. "Yes ma’am." He enters the room and addresses me. "Mr park, please gather up your things, you’re leaving."<br/>I give a nervous laugh. "W-What?"<br/>I take several steps back into Eddie’s arms, fear constricting my throat. <br/>Lisa growls and storms into the room. <br/>"Get away from him, now." She hisses and the Doctor takes my arm pulling me to the side. <br/>"I fucking knew there was something wrong with you! I should’ve trusted my gut but no, instead I welcomed you into my home! You’re a fucking monster! I know what you’ve done and you’re not coming anywhere near my family again!"<br/>Eddie stands very still as she thrashes, banging on his chest with her small fists, angry tears swimming in her eyes.<br/>I run to stand between them my arms out .<br/>"Stop it! What are you doing?" I shout, shaking but trying my best to stay strong.<br/>"You’re coming home with me, I’ve already signed all the paperwork. This has gone on long enough."<br/>"No! No, please! I can’t leave Eddie!"<br/>"You’re not spending another second alone with him! I know you know what he is! You know what he’s done and nobody told me! I’m fucking disgusted with you Waylon."<br/>My face falls. <br/>"No, Lisa! You’ve got it all wrong! Please just-"<br/>"We will talk about this later. Let’s go. I’ll come back for your shit."<br/>She grasps my wrist and starts pulling me towards the door. Eddie lurches forward but the doctor takes both his arms, holding him back and away from me. <br/>"No! No! Eddie!" I shout, desperately fighting her grip on my skin. <br/>He struggles against the doctor, eyes wild and locked on me.<br/>"Don’t do this! I can’t lose you!" <br/>His face is full of so much pain that I can’t stand it. I break free just as Lisa closes the door, trapping me on the other side of the glass. <br/>I slam my body against the surface and the Doctor lets go of Eddie so he can run to the other side.<br/>"You’re not losing me." I speak with a conviction I don’t feel. "I’m going to get this sorted out. I promise."<br/>He presses his hand up to the glass and I mirror it with my own, the coldness sending an ache through me.<br/>"I love you." I say  and he sinks to his knees before the glass.<br/>This time I don’t fight Lisa as she leads me out.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Endings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Lisa stop. Please just let me-"<br/>"Get in the car, Waylon."<br/>She speaks through gritted teeth, one hand resting on the bonnet of her car. <br/>I hold firm, glaring at her over the roof of the car.<br/>"Will you just listen for a minute? I-"<br/>"I swear to god Waylon if you don’t get in the fucking car I will come over there and make you."<br/>She snaps, eyes narrowed and I try not to flinch. Without Eddie to cling to I don’t know what to do. <br/>I open the passenger side door and climb inside. I sit very still as she starts the car and begins to drive. She drives fast, her face fixed in a scowl.<br/>I hang my head and weep. I don’t even bother to quiet my heaving sobs as I cry into my lap. I’ve never felt so broken, a part of me has been torn away and I don’t know how to function without it... Without him. <br/>"Lisa, please. Take me back. It’s not too late." <br/>I speak, my words slurred by snot and tears.<br/>She pointedly ignores me, eyes fixed on the road. <br/>"I’m begging you. You’re breaking my heart. If you  love me please, I need to go home." <br/>I cry harder, my hands shaking in my lap. <br/>Her foot hits the gas and she speeds down the lane. </p><p>She pulls up to her house and I don’t even bother to fight her. I step through the front door and she pushes in after me, slamming it behind her. <br/>"Where’s Link?" <br/>I speak into the silence, the house strangely eerie without the little boy.<br/>"He’s at his grandmas. He doesn’t need to see this."<br/>"See what?"<br/>She sighs. "Sit down. I’ve filed for divorce and I need you to sign some papers."<br/>I shake my head. "What? I thought-"<br/>"Things have changed, Waylon. I want you out of my life."<br/>Wait, Lisa you can’t do this!"<br/>"Yes, I can. I was willing to accept that you couldn’t remember me, I was willing to forgive the cheating and the way you rubbed your indiscretions in my face but this... this is unforgivable."<br/>"What? I don’t even know what you’re talking about."<br/>She lashes out sending things flying off the coffee table at her side.<br/>"Cut the shit! You know that your little boyfriend is a fucking murderer. Did you think I wouldn’t find out? I only had to google him and it was all right there."<br/>"But Lisa, that was thirty years ago. He served his sentence and more! You’re not being fair!"<br/>"No! You’re too fucking delusional to see it! If you took your head out of his arse for a second you’d release how disgusting this all is."<br/>Her voice softens but her eyes are still ice cold.<br/>"You put my son in danger. I can’t love you after you let a killer into our house."<br/>She sets the papers before me and presses a pen into my hand. <br/>"Link will be staying with my mother for the foreseeable future. You will stay here with me until you get back on your feet after that I’m done with you."<br/>Her voice is dismissive and she stands to leave.<br/>"The money you made at Murkoff has been put into a different account. There’s enough there for you to get an apartment."<br/>I sit very still, my brain numbly processing this information.<br/>"W-what about Eddie?"<br/>She turns on her heel. <br/>"Are you fucking serious? I-... you know what? It’s  not my problem but I’m telling you, Waylon. If you go back to him I will never allow ether of you to be alone with Link. I will not have my son at risk."<br/>She leaves the room and I hear her shuffling around in the kitchen.<br/>Tears in my eyes, I scribble my name onto the document, not even bothering to read it. <br/>The pain in my heart intensifies until it starts to feel numb. In less than twelve hours everything I’ve ever known has been torn away from me and I only have myself to blame.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Letters</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Dear Eddie,<br/>It’s been three days and I can’t remember anything hurting this much.<br/>She won’t let me call you but she can’t stop me writing letters. I’ll find a way to get these to you. <br/>I miss you so much, I don’t care if I have to crawl back to you. I won’t stop until we’re together again. <br/>I think about you every night, I hate sleeping without you. <br/>Lisa is pushing for the divorce to go through as quickly as possible. She’s expecting me to move out, to survive on my own and I can’t do it. <br/>The world is huge and I feel so alone out here. I don’t think I can take care of myself. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. <br/>Love always,<br/>Waylon.</b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <b>Eddie.<br/>It’s been weeks since I posted my letters. It took forever begging Lisa to let me send them. I need to know that you’re okay, that you haven’t given up on me. I write you something new everyday but it’s starting to feel pointless.<br/>I miss you so much. I promise that this will only be until I get my apartment and Lisa doesn’t have responsibility for me then I’m coming for you.<br/>I love you so much. <br/>Please write,<br/>Waylon. </b>
</p><p>I wait another week, sending a new letter everyday, each one becoming more desperate than the last. Lisa stands before me, hands on her hips. I had started refusing to leave my bed days ago and I have barely eaten. <br/>"Waylon, please get up. I don’t know what to do when you’re like this."<br/>I sigh. I had stopped crying, I think I’ve run out of tears.<br/>"What do you want me to do?"<br/>I stare ahead, not meeting her eyes. <br/>"You know what."<br/>"Way, you know I can’t-"<br/>"He’s dead."<br/>She stops, sentence stuck in her windpipe.<br/>"What?"<br/>"He’s dead, that or he hates me."<br/>"He’s fine. Don’t be dumb."<br/>"No he’s not. Why else wouldn’t I have heard anything."<br/>I bury my face in the pillows, the numb feeling taking over.<br/>After minutes of silence I assume I’m alone and whine into my pillow.<br/>The sound is broken and empty.<br/>I hear a sigh from above me and jolt upwards, reddened eyes turning to look at Lisa who averts her gaze. <br/>"He-... he doesn’t hate you."<br/>I glare at her. "Really? How would you know?"<br/>"Because I-" She sighs, fiddling with her hands. "Hang on."<br/>She leaves the room and I hear the sound of things being moved nearby.<br/>She stands in the doorway holding a yellow padded envelope. <br/>"The hospital sent these. I was going to throw them away but... It felt wrong."<br/>I take the envelope and tip it’s contents out onto the bed. At least thirty slips of paper fall out, all smothered in Eddie’s spidery handwriting.<br/>"Y-you we’re keeping these from me?" <br/>"No! I was just waiting for the right time, i thought that after a while without any contact you’d feel better."<br/>I don’t respond, I don’t even acknowledge that she’s spoken, instead taking the first letter in the stack and beginning to read. </p><p>
  <b>My darling Waylon.<br/>In your absence I find myself inconsolable. You are the sun which I revolve around and now my world is dark. <br/>I will never again take your presence for granted. You have such improved my life and I could not ask for a better partner. Please, return to me.<br/>Yours faithfully,<br/>Eddie.</b>
</p><p>His first few letters continue like this, soppy words and recollections of happier times until almost a week of letters pass and something changes.</p><p>
  <b>Waylon.<br/>I have been counting the days, I find it difficult to believe you are receiving my letters. Your despondence shatters my heart. I do not know if I can survive the loss of you. You were my every joy and without you my days are empty. <br/>I have lost not only my partner but my confidant  and dearest friend. Your letters are the only thing that ensures my survival, a small helping of sunlight in my bleak existence.<br/>I wonder though, how long this will be enough. I long for the touch of your skin and without it I feel my sanity is short lived.<br/>Yours faithfully,<br/>Eddie.</b>
</p><p>The next few are scribbled erratically, whole sentences scratched out and rewritten. His handwriting scratched haphazardly into the page. </p><p>
  <b>I fear Lisa may have been correct. I have done such deplorable things in my past, things I shall never be able to repent for. You deserve more than I can give. My illness led me to commit acts spoken of only in hell. I stole the lives of two innocent women and I will never be able to reverse this. Father Martin would say that devils cannot love but I know now that he is wrong.<br/>You have my heart. It beats for you every second of the remainder of my life. I understand this may not account to much but it’s the only thing I have to give. <br/>Yours, <br/>-E.</b>
</p><p>I pass this letter to Lisa, scorn filling my eyes. <br/>"Just pretty words, Waylon. It doesn’t mean anything."<br/>I glare at her and keep reading. I reach the final letter, which has been folded. Once again his writing is immaculate. This dates back only two days.</p><p>
  <b>My darling,<br/>I can no longer stand this waiting. I must accept the possibility that despite your reassurances you may never return. The staff have me on suicide watch. I beg them everyday for news of you but have yet to receive anything. I must have you know that i do not wish for you to be trapped by this ongoing situation. You have the whole world at your fingertips and you deserve every good thing it may provide. My love for you is immeasurable and I wish to free you from a relationship restrained by distance. This being said, if you wish it My heart will always belong to you. <br/>I live only for your happiness, if I never receive another letter I hope you know that you will be in my thoughts until my final breath. <br/>Until I can hold you in my arms again,<br/>Eddie.</b>
</p><p>I turn to Lisa, my eyes burning. <br/>"I will speak to him and you can’t stop me."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Why?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Waylon, please. Think about this."<br/>"No. You’ve kept us apart long enough. You’re divorcing me, abandoning me and you still want to control my life! You can’t have it both ways, Lisa."<br/>I storm downstairs still only half dressed in my pyjama shorts. I know the facility number, I had it drilled into me before I left and now I need it.<br/>"It’s not like that! I’m just trying to do what’s best for our family. I-"<br/>"You don’t always know what’s best. You have no right to treat me like a child."<br/>My hands shake with rage as I grip the phone handle, I hit each button carefully and pointedly ignore Lisa as she stands behind me.<br/>I listen to the dial tone, each wasted second sending palpitations through my heart.<br/>Until finally...<br/>"Hobson psychiatric facility, how may I help you?"<br/>A woman’s voice speaks and I heave with relief.<br/>"Yes! Hello, I need to speak with Mr Eddie Gluskin. It’s an emergency."<br/>"Okay sir, can you state your relationship to the patient?"<br/>"I’m family. His...partner. Please, it’s very important."<br/>"I’ll direct the call to his ward but I can’t promise he will accept."<br/>"No, he will. Tell him it’s Waylon, please."<br/>"Please hold."<br/>I pull the phone away from my ear, twisting the cord between my fingers as I wait for the call to connect.<br/>"Waylon..." Lisa’s fingers brush my shoulder.<br/>"Don’t." I speak softly and step out of her reach.<br/>She sighs and steps away, heading into the kitchen.<br/>"Alright, I just hope he’s worth what you’re losing."<br/>The phone clicks as the other line connects.<br/>"…hello?"</p><p> </p><p>"Eddie."<br/>
My breath catches at the sound of his voice and I speak his name like a prayer.<br/>
The other end of the line goes silent for a moment before he speaks again, the sound filled with so much emotion.<br/>
"Darling..."<br/>
"Did you miss me?" I ask, grinning through my tears.<br/>
He gasps and I know he’s crying too.<br/>
"Unimaginably so."<br/>
We spend the next few moments in silence just holding on to the sound of one another’s breathing.<br/>
When I eventually speak my voice is shaking.<br/>
"I-I didn’t get your letters until today. Why would you offer to release me when that’s the last thing I want? I know it’s hard but you’ve got to have faith in me. I’m getting you out, I’m not going to leave you."<br/>
"You have my whole heart Waylon. I have the upmost faith in you, it’s myself I doubt. You deserve so much more than me."<br/>
I give a sad laugh and sniff, wiping tears from my cheeks with the back of my hand.<br/>
"Maybe I do but I don’t want anyone else. Do you know why?"<br/>
"Why, darling?" I hear the sad smile in his voice.<br/>
"Well you see, there’s this idiot I’ve kind of fallen for. His name is Eddie and he didn’t have the best start in life, he’s done a lot of things he regrets and he’s a little sick. We met under bad circumstances and I ended up stuck with him but now I just can’t quit him. Wanna know why?"<br/>
He sniffs hard, voice wavering. "Why?"<br/>
"Because whenever I’m with him I feel a little more like myself. He makes every room he’s in brighter with his presence and I know that underneath it all he’s a good man. I love him so much that nobody else would do. I just know I want him to be mine for the rest of my life and I don’t care how  hard it’s going to be. You know why?"<br/>
This time I don’t wait for his response.<br/>
"Because every time I look at him I see my future."<br/>
I smile into the phone as he heaves in a breath.<br/>
"God, darling I adore you."<br/>
He pauses for a moment and I hear a muffled voice on the other side.<br/>
"I have to hang up now, they need the phone."<br/>
He speaks sadly but I can still hear the smile on his lips.<br/>
"Okay. I’ll call you tomorrow and every day until I come to get you. I promise."<br/>
"Yes, I’ll be waiting. I love you, Waylon."<br/>
"I love you too."<br/>
I stand still, phone clutched in my hand long after it’s cut off.<br/>
I have to get my shit together.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Apartments</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>With Lisa’s help I manage to find myself an apartment only a short drive from her home and two bus rides from the facility. I sold my old car after finding out I also lost my driving skill with the rest of my memories and the money i made at Murkoff had been put into an account for me so that I could be settled in my new home for a number of weeks before needing to worry about money. <br/>I don’t have much to take from my old house- Lisa’s house, a whole forgotten lifetime amounting to nothing more than a few cardboard boxes and a suitcase of clothes. <br/>Most of the furniture I bought cheap from thrift shops and garage sales, not caring if the couch was bare and tatty or the mattress was stained, why should it matter to me?<br/>I took the key to my new apartment and Lisa drove me over, her car packed with the last of my stuff. We sit outside as the engine dies, staring at the bleak apartment complex. I clear my throat. <br/>"Do you... uh, do you wanna come in?"<br/>Lisa smiles tightly, eyes betraying her unease. <br/>"Sure but only for a sec. I’m going to pick Link up."<br/>I get out of the car, last few boxes juggled in my arms.<br/>"What are we gonna tell him? It’s been so long."<br/>"Nothing." She snaps. "I call him every night and I’ve told him mummy and daddy need time alone to sort things out. He doesn’t need any details."<br/>I nod, worrying my lower lip between my teeth. I miss him so much...<br/>I press the key into the lock and push open the door.<br/>My furniture sits haphazardly about the room, boxes sit semi-unpacked and clothes scatter the floor.<br/>I cough, scratching at the skin on my arm. <br/>"Sorry, things are a mess right now.."<br/>"Don’t be dumb, shit is always all over the place when you move house. You’ll be fine."<br/>She pats my shoulder and drops the bag of clothes she was holding onto the floor. <br/>"Are-...are you sure you’re going to be okay?"<br/>We stand five feet apart, eyes locked an so many unspoken words linger in the empty space.<br/>I turn away and fumble with a pile of boxes, anything to keep my hands busy.<br/>"Yeah, I’m fine, you should...go get Link."<br/>She pats my back in an awkward hug and I walk her to the door. I watch her drive away before shutting myself in. <br/>I sit down on my sofa, the purple cloth sinking under my weight and I fiddle with the phone cord. It doesn’t stretch far enough to reach the wall from here and I know it’s the only thing I need right now.<br/>I use all my weight to push the sofa against the wall and I sit on the carpet, my back resting on its base. I dial the number slowly, not even needing to look at the buttons. <br/>We are allowed one call per day, thirty minutes and I cherish every second. <br/>I hold sacred every ring of the phone, keeping me connected to him. <br/>"Hello, I’m calling to speak with Eddie Gluskin."<br/>I have to say the same words everyday just for their records and I hate them.<br/>"Yes, I’m his partner."<br/>They take up a whole minute of our time. <br/>But it’s so worth it when I hear his voice.<br/>"Darling."<br/>He always sounds so sure it’s me, I suppose he doesn’t get any other calls.<br/>I drink in his voice like a parched man given water, clinging to every syllable. <br/>"Hey, Eddie. How was your day?"<br/>He gives a breathy laugh. "The same as every day, bleak with one thirty minute lapse of incredible sunshine."<br/>"Well I’m glad I brighten your day like you do mine."<br/>"Tell me about what you did, I’m sure it’s plenty more interesting."<br/>"Well I moved into our new apartment. Tonight is my first night in our home, I really wish you could be here."<br/>I miss out the anxiety attack I had in the shower this morning and bickering with Lisa on the car ride over.<br/>"Me too, love. More than you know. So you won’t be much longer?"<br/>He tries to hide the hope in his voice with little success. <br/>I smile into the phone, teeth grazing my lower lip.<br/>"No not much longer. Visitation is Friday and I’m booking tomorrow as soon as the line is open. Because we’re not married yet you’ll probably have to sign a consent form but as soon as everything goes through I’ll be there."<br/>I listen to him deflate with relief on the other end of the line. <br/>"Thank god. I can’t believe you still wish to marry me."<br/>"Of course I want to Eddie." My voice becomes serious. "Are you having doubts again? If you are you have to speak with your therapist."<br/>"No, no, darling. Nothing like that. It’s just-...I’m so lucky."<br/>I give an amused huff. "Yeah you are, now come on. Tell me what’s going on, what’s the latest drama?"<br/>I get him laughing and I listen to him talk almost uninterrupted for the next twenty minutes before he has to hang up. <br/>I tell him I love him no less than twelve times and reassure him I’m coming for him before I let the line die. <br/>With no further direction I order takeout and eat with my hands on the sofa, noodles and barbecue sauce staining my chin. <br/>Afterwards I pull out my laptop and scroll aimlessly through videos online. Eventually I stumble upon a porn site, videos of men and women naked and entangled catching my attention and lighting my face in the dark room. <br/>I take myself into my hand and stroke my length languidly. It had been at least two months since I got any action and my body aches with the need to be touched. <br/>I don’t remember the last time I had need to finish myself off and it just feels wrong.<br/>I shut my eyes and try to shut everything out. The hand around my dick is not my own, it is Eddie’s and I’m back in our bed, back in his arms. <br/>I finish into one of the takeout napkins, not worried about the state I must look. I can shower tomorrow. <br/>Falling into a soft, dazed state I pull the sheet from over the sofa and use it as a blanket to keep myself warm as I fall into a fitful sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Holding you again</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I breathe in deeply, eyes squeezed shut. Since the separation between me and Eddie I hadn’t been allowed to step foot into the facility and all my meetings with my therapist had been over the phone. Now I stand on the outside of the building trying to summon  the courage to go inside.<br/>
My hands shake as I reach for the door handle and I huff under my breath in frustration.<br/>
Come on, it’s just a door, just a walk through the wards, just a booking...<br/>
I push the door with maybe a little too much force and it bumps into the adjacent wall.<br/>
The receptionist looks up, surprised eyes scanning me.<br/>
"Hello, how may I help you today?" She asks.<br/>
"Um- I’m here to see Eddie Gluskin. I called ahead a few days ago...I’m Waylon Park."<br/>
My voice shakes and I can’t bring myself to meet her eyes, fear gripping me.<br/>
She lowers her gaze and scans through a set of papers before looking up again with a smile.<br/>
"Ah yes. That’s right. Okay mister park take one of the orange wristbands from the pot over there and head down the first hallway on your right, there’ll be someone waiting to meet you."<br/>
I do as instructed, wrapping the orange rubber around my wrist, the word visitor written in bright, white letters.<br/>
I don’t belong here anymore.<br/>
I head down the hallway, walls too pale and unnaturally clean making the walk feel so much longer.<br/>
"Mister Park, it’s wonderful to see you back again. You look well."<br/>
A woman I vaguely recognise greets me at the door, her blue nurses uniform stark and crisp.<br/>
"Thank you." I mutter, feeling completely out of place.<br/>
"Of course. Right this way please, we have some paperwork for you to fill in before we let you through."<br/>
She sits me in a waiting room with a clipboard and pen which I take with some reluctance.<br/>
"I’ll be back in just a moment to collect those forms. Feel free to help yourself to our display of magazines or newspapers while you wait."<br/>
She shuffles away before I can say another word, her mind already on the next task.<br/>
I scribble my details down onto the page, my handwriting scrawled and childlike.<br/>
I wonder if it always looked like this.<br/>
The nurse returns as I’m signing the bottom of the page. I hand the clipboard back to her and she scans over the information.<br/>
"Perfect! Now if you’re ready I can take you through to mr Gluskin."<br/>
I take a deep breath, pushing down the bile which rises in my throat and follow her deeper into the ward.</p><p> </p><p>We reach the door and I pause, turning to the nurse.<br/>
"Is he-... is he okay?"<br/>
Her lips tighten. "His recovery is going well and his medication is stable and effective but..." she pauses, twisting her thumbs. "Emotionally we are worried for him. He often becomes despondent and seems to have lost all ambition. We were actually very glad you chose to visit mister park, regular contact with a loved one could truly do him wonders."<br/>
I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat. This is all my fault.<br/>
"Trust me, I’m going to be here every week. i'm not going to abandon him."<br/>
I turn the handle and step into the room. </p><p>"Eddie..."<br/>
my voice comes out in a whisper he wouldn’t be able to hear from behind the thick glass. He sits in his usual spot on the sofa, focus completely on whatever he’s writing.<br/>
After not seeing his face in the longest time the sight of him leaves my knees weak.<br/>
"Eddie? You’ve got a visitor."<br/>
The nurse speaks through the intercom and his head snaps up. The paper in his hand hits the floor and he stumbles to his feet, eyes locked on me.<br/>
"Waylon." He mouths my name and I reach out to touch the glass.<br/>
"My god, I must be dreaming..."<br/>
I smile. "I told you I was coming. Don’t you remember?"<br/>
"Well yes but- visitation begins at Ten, it’s twelve. I thought you may have changed your mind."<br/>
"I have to get the bus. Traffic was just bad then I had to fill out some paperwork."<br/>
"Darling, I apologise I-I’m speechless."<br/>
I turn to the nurse. "Can I go in, please?"<br/>
She gives a little smile. "Yes. Although for safeguarding reasons I must remain in the room to observe."<br/>
I nod quickly. "Yes that’s fine."<br/>
She opens the door and I slowly step inside. I stand before Eddie and we just spend a moment staring at one another before I throw myself into his arms.<br/>
I bury my face in his neck as he spins me around, a tearful laugh tearing from his throat.<br/>
He sets me back on my feet, arms still wrapped tightly around my waist and I kiss him.<br/>
Warmth floods me and I barely feel the wetness of my face mix with his.<br/>
His tongue caresses my lower lip and I bathe in the taste of him, not wanting to breathe if it meant being apart from him.<br/>
He pulls back, panting and presses our foreheads together.<br/>
"I thought I’d lost you..."<br/>
I laugh through my tears.<br/>
"You could never. I’m yours and I’m in this forever."<br/>
He smiles and presses another kiss to my lips.<br/>
"It means everything just to hold you again. I love you."<br/>
"I love you too and I’m getting you out. Then you don’t have to wait to hold me, we can be together everyday."<br/>
"As long as it takes, I’ll be here."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Process</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Are you sure this is what you want, mr Park? The process is long and may not look favourably on you."<br/>The man speaks from across the desk, eyes fixed on me. <br/>"Yes, I’m sure. Eddie is my partner and I want him released into my custody."<br/>"I understand sir but given the fact that the two of you are not married and he has no remaining relatives to sign the consent form this will be rather difficult."<br/>I sigh. "I know. I don’t care. I need him to come home with me. Please just tell me what I have to do."<br/>"We need evidence that your income and living situation are both stable. You must prove yourself of sound mind and body to care for Mr Gluskin for at least three months after his release. You hold sole responsibility for his medication and for keeping contact with his therapists during this time. The doctor overseeing him must sign off oh his release and finally he will have to consent to leaving the facility in your care."<br/>I nod quickly. <br/>"That’s all totally fine. I have my own flat which I rent nearby. I have money saved and I am looking into finding a job. I’m happy to take on all his responsibilities, I love him. Where do I begin?"<br/>The man pulls a face.<br/>"We must inspect your place of residence to deem it safe and appropriate for our patient but I must tell you that without a steady income there is little chance your request will be granted. I will set up the paperwork needed for your home inspection but in the mean time you must find stable employment or I’m afraid I will not be able to help you."<br/>I bite my lower lip, pushing back frustrated tears.<br/>"Yeah, please do that. I just- I need him back with me."<br/>The man gives a kind smile. <br/>"I’ll do everything I can." <br/>With that I’m escorted from the room and back out into the facility’s main hallway. <br/>I trudge to Eddie’s room, feet dragging. I don’t know how to tell him that this could take months. I had started today so hopeful, I guess that was stupid of me.<br/>The nurse lets me in and I slump into the sofa and Eddie’s waiting arms. <br/>Immediately I bury my head in his neck and let myself cry. He holds me tight against him.<br/>"Darling, what happened?"<br/>He soothes back my hair but I only hold tighter, sniffing into his clothes.<br/>"Waylon you’re scaring me. Please tell me what’s got you so upset."<br/>He pulls me back and I meet his eyes. <br/>"I’m sorry." I mutter, nuzzling him. "It’s just things might take a little longer than I thought. They need to inspect my house and I’ve got to find a job before they’ll even think about letting me take you out."<br/>He sighs and deflates back into me. <br/>"This is a shame but nothing we cannot handle, darling."<br/>He runs a thumb over my cheek, wiping away the tears. <br/>"You are the most incredible and talented person I know. Anyone would be lucky to hire you."<br/>I smile, my voice no longer wobbling.<br/>"Thanks Eddie, I’ll find something. Only problem is they could show up any day and the apartment is a wreck..."<br/>"In that case you must clean it up. Show them what a good homemaker you are. I will not have my darling living in squalor, you deserve better than that."<br/>I nod, his guidance making everything feel less insurmountable.<br/>"There we go. Now dry those tears, I only have you for a few hours each week and I need to memorise your smile."<br/>He taps the underside of my chin and my lips quirk upwards.<br/>"There we go. I can’t wait to wake up everyday just like this."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry it’s been a while<br/>Things will get better for our boys</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Calls</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"This is not a run of the mill office job, we only need you to come in and report to our head of tech resources once a week. Otherwise you work from home. You will be expected to provide a performance evaluation of our online store weekly as well as maintaining our website. You must be available to answer your phone at all hours to provide our team with tech support."<br/>The man took one look at my resume and hired me on the spot, which was all the better for me because I didn’t have a chance to embarrass myself in the interview. <br/>"You will start at the beginning of the month and receive your first pay-packet on the thirtieth. You will be posted your employee ID and welcome brochure." <br/>I nod before realising that he wouldn’t be able to see this over the phone and quickly correct myself. Talking can still sometimes throw me.<br/>"Yes okay. That’s totally fine." <br/>"In that case, welcome to the team." <br/>I hang up the phone and slump down onto my sofa. Eddie was right, finding a job wasn’t too difficult with my resume but it certainly has been exhausting. <br/>I take several deep breaths and remind myself I only need to keep this for a few months so that they can see proof that Eddie and I  will have a steady income. <br/>I do have to admit that a part of me is excited to get back to doing something I’m good at. Numbers running over the screen of a computer are like an unconscious language to me and I find myself lost in their regular solidity. Their patterns don’t change and lines of code can so easily be rewritten.<br/>This started because of Eddie but in the process I’ve found my peace. </p><p> </p><p>I am jolted from my stupor by the buzzing of my phone and I slide the answer button.<br/>"Hey, how’s the job hunt going?"<br/>Lisa’s voice travels through the speaker and I give a silent exhale of relief. Things are stilted but she hasn’t stopped speaking to me yet.<br/>"Really good actually, I’ve found something with these tech guys. They need their website sorted out and some tech support. I start next week."<br/>I don’t bother to keep the exhilaration from my voice. <br/>"That’s great. I uh, I’m bringing Link over this afternoon. Is that still good for you?" <br/>She sounds uncomfortable. It took a lot of convincing for her to let me have our son alone.<br/>"Yeah it’s great. I’m looking forward to seeing him."<br/>She clears her throat.<br/>"Yeah, I know. I’ll see you then, okay?"<br/>I feel her closing off and I desperately grip the phone, holding it to my ear.<br/>"Lisa, wait. Tell me about your day, how’s work?"<br/>She sighs.<br/>"Way, I’ve really got to go."<br/>I bite my lower lip.<br/>"Yeah, of course. Sorry. I’ll see you later?"<br/>"See ya."<br/>I hear the click of the line as it goes dead but I don’t let go. I still sit with the plastic pressed to my ear, waiting to hear her voice again.<br/>Eventually, I give up. </p><p> </p><p>"Daddy!" <br/>I hear the shout before the door is even open and my son barrels into my arms, a whir of blond hair and giggles.<br/>I scoop him up and hold him close, my face buried in his neck. I really couldn’t begin to feel how much I had missed him until he fell into my arms. <br/>"Hey little man." I smile even though I can feel the wetness of emotion in my eyes. "It’s been ages, how’ve you been?"<br/>He squeezes his arms around my neck before sitting back and grinning at me.<br/>"Good! I like grandmas house, she lets me have chocolate cake even when mum says no." <br/>He laughs and I hear Lisa tut a little under her breath, I look over to see her masking a smile.<br/>"My mother is a little overindulgent when it comes to Link."<br/>He smiles. "Because I’m special mum." <br/>I pull the boy back against my chest and press playful kisses to his cheek.<br/>"Yeah you are..." I stick out my tongue and blow him a raspberry. "My special boy."<br/>"Eww! Dad!" He squirms in my grasp and I reluctantly let him go. <br/>"How do you feel about us getting a pizza?" <br/>I smile as he squeals with excitement and jumps up onto my sofa. <br/>"Yeah! With pepperoni?"<br/>I smile. "Whatever you want."<br/>Lisa raises an eyebrow. "You sure? You don’t do cheese."<br/>"It’s fine. I’ll order a small one and I’ll just have something else. What do you want?"<br/>She clears her throat uncomfortably. <br/>"I’m not staying. I’ll be out in the car, I’ve got work anyway."<br/>My smile fades. "You don’t have to do that. Stay and eat with us, my treat."<br/>"No, Waylon. This is your time with him. I’ll be back to get him at six."<br/>I sigh. "Okay, if thats what you want."<br/>She turns to link. "Come say bye to mummy. I’ll be back in a couple hours, have fun."<br/>She lets herself out as I call for pizza and I settle in with link and Peter rabbit playing on my beat up TV. <br/>It feels so good to hold him again.</p>
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<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Good news</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"We received news of your employment and confirmation that you have an acceptable living residence. Congratulations, mister park."<br/>The man smiles at me from over the desk and I can practically feel myself vibrating in my seat with excitement.<br/>"Thank you. So does that mean..." I trail off, too nervous to ask.<br/>The man flicks through his papers for a moment before sliding a document over the desk. <br/>"As long as the head nurse signs off and I see no reason she shouldn’t, I am happy to begin the process of signing mister Gluskin into your care."<br/>"Oh.. oh my god." I’m crying now and both my hands cover my mouth. "Thank you so much."<br/>He huffs out a laugh. "I just need you to sign here and then you can go and pass on the good news."<br/>I can’t keep the smile off my face as I scribble my name and address down onto the paper. <br/>I stumble from my seat and back towards the door. <br/>"Thank you, this is amazing."<br/>I don’t bother stopping myself as I run through the ward to Eddie’s room. I can’t wait to see his face.</p><p>He stands at the glass panel, already waiting for me. He sees my smile and his eyes light with hope. <br/>"Darling. It’s great to see you. How did your meeting go?"<br/>He speaks as I approach and push open the door.<br/>"They said yes!" I burst out, unable to keep my excitement inside. <br/>"They... they did?" His jaw goes slack and he stares at me.<br/>I nod, my smile so wide. " yeah. I get to take you out for the day next week if your therapist signs off and you want to. You do, don’t you?"<br/>He steps towards me and wraps me in his arms, laughing loud in my ear. <br/>"Oh Waylon of course I do. I would go anywhere with you in a heartbeat."<br/>I lean in close and kiss him hard, fingers carding through his hair. He tastes like honey and something sweet that’s just him. <br/>"In that case, we have six days."<br/>He hums in my ear softly so that the nurse can’t hear our conversation. <br/>"I will start brainstorming everything I want to do when we get home..."</p>
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<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Sexy time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger warning for explicit sexual content</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Okay, breathe. I know this seems daunting but I’ve got you. We’re going to face this together, yeah?"<br/>Eddie stands in the doorway to the facility, feet refusing to budge from the welcome mat. <br/>"Darling I- I don’t think you understand..." His whole body seems to tense. "I’ve been institutionalised for over a decade. The world has changed so much. I don’t know If I can keep up."<br/>I squeeze his hand in mine, eyes locked on his face.<br/>"Oh Eddie. I know how hard this is but we’re gonna take this so slow and I’ll be right here the whole time making sure that you’re okay I promise."<br/>He gives a stiff nod.<br/>"Yes?"<br/>I smile softly. "Yeah. Now are you gonna step out or am I going to have to carry you to the bus stop?"<br/>Now I’ve got him laughing, eyes lighting with something other than fear.<br/>"As if you could hold my weight."<br/>He takes one last deep breath and steps into the sunlight. Together we walk to the bus.</p><p>We arrive at my house after an excruciatingly long ride on the bus. On the few occasions Lisa took Eddie and myself into a public place I noticed that he would stick very close to my arm. Now it appears to be worse. He whispers to me as we head up my street that he feels everyone’s eyes on him and it makes him uncomfortable. I kept his hand in mine, trying to reassure him.</p><p>We reach the door to my tiny apartment and I fumble for my keys, pushing open the door and ignoring the squeak of the hinge.<br/>I let Eddie step inside and watch nervously as he scans the room with his eyes.<br/>"... I hope you like it. I know it’s not much..." I mutter, eyes downcast.<br/>He turns to me, eyes shining with so much emotion. <br/>"I love it. It’s perfect. It doesn’t matter to me what our home looks like as long as you’re with me."<br/>The worry leaves my eyes and I lean into him, resting my face on his chest.<br/>"How do you always know the perfect thing to say?"<br/>I breathe in his scent and finally feel like I belong.<br/>He hums. "I speak from my heart, darling. This place really is perfect, we have the privacy to do whatever... we... want..."<br/>As he speaks he slowly tips my head backwards until our eyes meet. My breathing becomes shallow and my jaw slackens, the suggestion in his words sending my gut spiralling. It’s been so long.<br/>"And we have all day." I whisper, never breaking eye contact. "What do you wanna do?" My voice is gentle and our lips are so close they’re almost brushing. <br/>He hums and suddenly he’s gripping me tight and spinning me around so my back is pressed to his chest and his mouth is flush against my neck.<br/>"Point me to the direction of your bedroom and I will show you every vulgar thing I want to do to you."<br/>My breath catches and I point towards my bedroom door.<br/>He wraps me in his arms and spins me back around, claiming my lips in a sharp kiss. He pushes me backwards until my back hits the door.<br/>He hums into our kiss and pulls away slowly, leaving only centimetres between us. <br/>"…is this the right room?"  His voice is light and teasing.<br/>I nod. "Yes..."<br/>"Let’s take a look."<br/>He opens the door and looks briskly about the room. I already know it will be to his standards, I cleaned it immaculately this morning in preparation for him.<br/>"This will do nicely."<br/>With more force than I was expecting he throws me backwards onto the bed and pins me down against the sheets, breath hot in my face.<br/>"Now, that’s much better." He hisses, low and dangerously erotic. <br/>"You want to know what I want to do with you?" <br/>He presses frantic kisses up my neck, running his tongue over my skin.<br/>He doesn’t wait for my response.<br/>"I want to bend you over and have you every way possible. I want to fill you up until you can’t take anymore and use that sexy arse of yours until you can’t walk straight."<br/>He slips one hand around the back of my neck and cradles my head as he tears at my clothes with the other. <br/>I nod along with everything he says, flesh burning and pricking with goosebumps.<br/>"You like hearing this? Because I’ve thought of nothing else since you were taken from me. I’m going to claim you over and over so they can never separate us again. You are mine, Waylon. Forever. I won’t let you forget it."<br/>He sucks at my neck, teeth grazing my skin and sending bursts of electricity through me.<br/>My breath hitches and I squirm under him, hard and desperate. <br/>He laughs, low and breathy in my ear.<br/>"You’re so sensitive. How long has it been since you’ve felt this pleasure? Have you touched yourself? Were you thinking about me?"<br/>I nod my head, eyes squeezed shut as blood rushes to my groin.<br/>"Hmm, precious? I can’t hear you..."<br/>He teases between kisses to my collar bone. "I want to hear your voice..."<br/>I groan, fighting to find a coherent thought amidst the heat that courses through my veins. <br/>"Mmm, yeah... wasn’t this good." I pull him back into a kiss, trying to memorise the way he tastes. He hums and I feel the hardness In his trousers.<br/>"Me too, every fucking night to the memory of you. We need each other, perfect for one another. Like how well I fit inside you..."<br/>His voice drops to a whisper and he palms me through my jeans. I whine, high and needy. <br/>"Please... touch me. I need you."<br/>His lips curl upwards.<br/>"Yes, darling? All riled up and ready for me?"<br/>He sucks my lower lip and I inhale sharply. "Yeah.. please."<br/>"All in due time but first I’m going to strip you down and feel every inch of your beautiful body. I’m going to open you up nice and slow and get you so ready for me. I want to hear you beg for me then I’m going to fuck you. I’m going to take what’s mine until we both have nothing left to give. How does that sound?"<br/>I pant, struggling against my clothes. "Amazing Eddie... you’re amazing."<br/>He doesn’t respond, he just kisses me and rips my shirt away from my body, tossing the material to the floor. <br/>Next he takes his time pulling my belt from the loops of my jeans and slipping them over my hips. I lay naked apart from my briefs, skin prickling with electric heat. He runs one finger over the tent in my underwear, feeling the wetness of precum that his ministrations have created. I hiss and take his hand in mine, squeezing tight as my body pulses.<br/>"Please."<br/>He kisses me slow and painfully gentle, speaking softly against my lips as he pulls off my underwear, leaving them at my ankles. <br/>"Hmm, I love you. I love you so much darling. I love the way you taste, love the way you feel, the way you smell..."<br/>He inhales into my hair and I laugh, burying my face in his neck.<br/>Eddie’s hands are on my hips, lifting and squeezing and stroking the skin.<br/>He sits between my open legs, eyes alight with arousal and excitement. <br/>He circles my hole teasingly with one finger and speaks in a low voice.<br/>"I’m going to taste you, I’m going to use my tongue to open you up and I want to hear how good it feels. You ready, darling?"<br/>I nod, body already vibrating with anticipation. <br/>"Yes." <br/>He holds my hips up, tongue brushing softly over my perineum, centimetres away from both pleasure centres. My breath hitches and in the next moment his tongue is slathered over my hole, hot and wet and perfect.<br/>I keen, teeth gritted and hands fisted in the bedsheets. <br/>The slick feeling gives me shivers and I plead for more.<br/>Eddie pulls back and meets my gaze, eyes wicked.<br/>"Feeling good, Waylon?" He asks and I groan.<br/>"Yes, yes. So good, please keep going..."<br/>I run my fingers through his hair, urging his face back between my thighs.<br/>He chuckles, the sound vibrating through the air. <br/>"If you want me to keep going? Keep talking." <br/>His head ducks and he’s licking again, tongue rolling across the sensitive skin and leaving me shaking.<br/>"Yes... you’re so good. So good to me. I need this, need you."<br/>The tip of his tongue prods at my entrance.<br/>"...Need more."<br/>I sob with pleasure as he sucks around my rim, tongue wet and scorching against my skin. <br/>I clench around him, needing to be filled by something bigger. <br/>"Eddie, please. I need more. I need you inside me."<br/>I watch him through my eyelashes, pleading with my eyes. <br/>He pulls away and I squirm, my body aching.<br/>"Yes, darling? We haven’t even started preparing you yet."<br/>I groan, feeling one finger rub over my entrance.<br/>"I-I don’t care, I want it! Fucking- touch me already!"<br/>My head falls back onto the pillow and my teeth claim my lower lip.<br/>He hums, lips tracing my hip bone.<br/>"I’m not going to hurt you, Waylon. I refuse to give you anything but pleasure." As he speaks he strokes my length and I groan, leaking precum. "I’m going to open you up so slowly."<br/>I fist my hands tightly in his hair. "Yeah?" <br/>He nods, one finger sliding easily into me. My hips lift of their own accord, giving him easier access.<br/>He strokes me, pace languid as he pushes in another finger and the pain doesn’t even register. <br/>I let out a pleased hum, eyes closing as I enjoy the feeling of his hands on me.<br/>The third finger hurts, after so long with nothing inside me my body feels wholly unequipped. I wince, turning my face towards the pillows to hide my discomfort. <br/>The hand around my shaft disappears and is suddenly cupping my cheek. He leans up and presses little kisses against my closed mouth.<br/>"Sorry darling." He speaks between kisses. "You’re doing so well. I love you."<br/>I kiss him back, tongue lapping at his lips. <br/>"It’s okay, just be gentle. It’s been a while for me." <br/>He nuzzles his face in my neck. "Of course, my darling. You’ll feel so good, I promise. Just give me a second."<br/>He settles back between my open legs and pushes his fingers back into me. I grit my teeth for a moment before my whole body goes slack and I’m moaning as he flexes his fingers in a beckoning motion that rubs right against my pleasure centre. <br/>"Please... Eddie."<br/>My legs lock around his shoulders and my breathing hitches. He hums and jerks his fingers inside me again. <br/>"Begging for me already?" He pushes his fingers deep inside me and I rock my hips. I need more.<br/>"Yes... just fuck me already, please."<br/>His smile is so beautiful as he retracts his fingers and leans over me. "You sure you’re ready? I’m not going to hurt you."<br/>I shake my head. "No, you won’t. I’m good."<br/>He kisses me hard, Like he’s trying to devour me with his lips.<br/>He pulls away and his gaze drops over my chest.<br/>"You’re so beautiful, I swear I will never get tired of your body."<br/>He enters me, stretching me open and filling me with one fluid motion. I let out a sigh that borders between pleasure and agonising relief. How did I let myself forget how good it feels to have him like this?<br/>Our fingers interlock and I squeeze tightly as he rocks his hips, pushing all the way inside me.<br/>He exhales, whole body damp with sweat and eyes lit with pleasure.<br/>I do this to him.<br/>My lips have turned upward in a big smile despite the fact that my mouth still hangs slack with pleasure. The way he looks at me truly makes me believe that I could really be beautiful.<br/>"Eddie..." I breathe his name into the air and squeeze his hand in mine. <br/>He smiles like the sound has made his heart beat faster. <br/>"God, darling. I have missed you so..."<br/>It only takes minutes for the both of us to be spilling our seed and laying slumped in each other’s arms, an exhausted sweaty mess.<br/>I feel the Rhythm of his heartbeat and rapid breathing as he lays his head on my chest, one leg resting over my naked hips. <br/>"Waylon." He whispers my name so softly I could miss it and his fingers card through my hair.<br/>I smile and tilt his chin up, looking into his beautiful eyes. "I love you too." I return.<br/>He gives a happy little sigh. "...I didn’t say it yet." <br/>I laugh, my thumb grazing his lower lip. "You don’t need to. I can see it in your eyes."<br/>I tug him forward and he claims my lips with his own. Both his arms wrap tightly around me. <br/>He pulls back slowly, keeping his face so closely to mine.<br/>"How long do we have until you take me back?"<br/>I raise my eyebrows. "You want to leave already?"<br/>His eyes widen. "Of course not! I never wish to leave you, darling."<br/>As if to prove a point he peppers soft little kisses to my cheek. <br/>"Then we shouldn’t think about that. Just for now I want to pretend that things can stay like this, okay?"<br/>Eddie sighs and presses his face into my neck, his voice muffled against my skin. "You’re a little sticky, darling. Where’s your bathtub? I’ll run us a bath."<br/>I squeeze him tightly against me. "No, don’t leave me."<br/>Eddie gives an amused snort. "Okay, hold on to me."<br/>I wrap both arms around his neck and he picks me up like his bride.<br/>I laugh. "Reminds you of old times, huh?"<br/>He smiles, lips turning up against my skin. "As much as I love holding you close I also love seeing you confident and in your element. I never got to see that before."<br/>I kiss his cheek as he runs the bath, hot water filling the tub. "We’ve both changed so much, huh?"<br/>"It certainly seems so."<br/>We fall into a silence as the bath fills and I close my eyes, inhaling deeply and sucking in his scent. <br/>He places me gently in the tub and slips in behind me. I sit between his legs in the warm water. <br/>He hums and sinks down, when I look over my shoulder his eyes are closed. <br/>"Are you happy, Eddie?"<br/>His eyes open just a little so I can see an inch of the blue which rests beneath his lashes.<br/>"Yes, darling. More so than I have ever been." He smiles softly, eyes closing again. <br/>I smile and take his hand in mine under the water, finger tracing each line on his palm.<br/>"Eddie?" I speak after a few moments of silence <br/>"Yes, love?"<br/>"Do...Do you ever think about what would’ve happened if we weren’t found? I mean, if we stayed in Mount-..."<br/>I cut myself off, not wanting to finish my sentence.<br/>Eddie sighs. "If I am truthful it was the first thought I had when you were taken from me. My mind told me that if I would’ve kept you to myself back then nobody could’ve taken you away from me. We could’ve spent the rest of our lives together."<br/>He goes silent for a moment as I take In his words.<br/>"But my heart knew that I don’t want that life for you. I knew I’d rather you have a wonderful life where you can be free and away from danger, even if it meant I couldn’t have you." <br/>I smile and turn to face him, hands cupping his face. <br/>"Well it turns out that you’re lucky because in and out of that place I choose you." I press my lips to his forehead. <br/>He laughs, one hand cupping my hip. "Hearing those words makes me want nothing more than to take you back to bed."<br/>My lips quirk upwards. "We still have hours and there’s nowhere else I’d rather be..."</p>
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<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Closing doors</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After a whole month of visits home and sweaty car sex outside the facility we were finally in a good place to allow Eddie’s release into the real world. I couldn’t think of another time when I had been more excited. <br/>"As usual, Mr Park is responsible for your medication and updated appointments with your therapists. You must keep in contact with our doctors. If we do not hear from you at least once each month via text or appointment for the next four months  we will alert the authorities, after that you never have to speak to us again. I am sure I don’t have to remind you that despite already over serving your prison sentence by thirteen years you do have a record so if you are caught breaking the law at any point in the next year our facility has every right to reinstate you as a patient."<br/>The nurse speaks to Eddie as he packs his clothing into a bag, her speech one long blur. I sit at the counter with the stack of papers needed for me to take Eddie home and I’m reminded too much of the feeling of adopting a pet. I want our relationship to be a healthy one, I want us to have equal power and this doesn’t feel like a very good start.<br/>I’m almost too anxious to wonder how Eddie feels about all this, being treated like an untrustworthy child instead of a competent adult. <br/>I peer over my shoulder into the room and see that he has a nervous little smile on his lips and he’s readily agreeing with the nurse. <br/>"Yes, of course. I feel blessed to receive this second chance and I will not take it for granted. I just want to go home with my family."<br/>He glances my way and our eyes meet. His gaze is tearful.<br/>I jog over to him and wrap my arms tightly around his neck.<br/>I say nothing, just letting him cling to me as he sniffs and wipes his eyes on my jacket. <br/>"…My darling." He speaks softly and pulls back, taking my face into his hands. "Whatever would I do without you?" <br/>I open my mouth to retort with something snarky but my words are swallowed by his kiss. <br/>When we separate the nurse is smiling. <br/>We’re escorted out and we both stand in the doorway, scanning the room which now sits bare of any personal belongings. We meet eyes and in one moment we have a lifetime of conversations without words. <br/>"Are you ready?" I ask Eddie whose fingers rest on the door handle.<br/>"Yes darling." I squeeze his hand and together we close the door and walk away from our old life.</p>
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<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Getting settled</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry if there are mistakes, this is the first chapter not to be beta read first.<br/>Things should get interesting from here</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eddie pulls up the hood of his coat as we enter the bus and his grip on my hand tightens. I guide him to the back and together we tuck into a corner.<br/>As the bus rattles away he seems to relax just a little. <br/>"After today we never have to do this again besides for your therapy."<br/>He rolls his eyes. "Thank goodness for that. I have no idea how in the time I have been away public transportation has become so filthy."<br/>I laugh, stifling the sound in my hoodie. <br/>"Okay, I think we all get it. You hate the bus. When all this drama is over We can figure out how to drive, I promise."<br/>He tips up my chin and steals a kiss as our bus pulls to a stop. </p><p> </p><p>"Darling, where should I put this?" Eddie lingers by the doorway to our bedroom, fumbling with his bag. <br/>"Oh, anything you want hung up can go in the wardrobe and I’ve saved the top two drawers for the rest of your stuff."<br/>"Thank you, how thoughtful of you."<br/>I drop the pile of laundry in my arms and pull him in for a hug. <br/>"Oh Eddie..." I mutter. "I know this is hard. I don’t want this to feel like you’re a guest here. Why don’t we go shopping later? We can get you everything you need brand new."<br/>I look up at him expectantly and he pulls a face. <br/>"Darling, I-... I don’t know if that’s the best idea. I don’t feel ready for such a public space yet. I’m sorry."<br/>I smile and cup his cheek, feeling the beginnings of stubble. <br/>"That’s not a problem, Eddie." <br/>I laugh as his brow furrows in confusion. <br/>"It’s not?"<br/>"No. It’s been quite a while since you’ve had access to modern technology, huh?" I fish my cell phone from my pocket. "I can buy you literally anything from here and have it delivered to our doorstep."<br/>He smiles. "Remarkable, love. I’m going to cook some dinner, you finish up with laundry, yes?" <br/>I nod and he presses a kiss to the top of my head.</p><p> </p><p>I rest the newly folded laundry on the dresser, smiling to myself at the soft sound of Eddie clattering in the kitchen. <br/>I drift through to meet him, sitting down at the small kitchen island and watching him work.<br/>I let my eyes glide over his back, admiring the way his shirt hugs his skin. <br/>"Enjoying the view?" He hums without turning around and I laugh, slipping from my seat to stand behind him. <br/>"What are you making?"<br/>He huffs, dropping the knife and turning in my arms to face me and snuggle into my neck. <br/>"Nothing if you insist on continuing to be such a distraction." His voice seems to grumble but I feel the smile that curls his lips upwards. <br/>"You don’t have to make anything special, it’s our first night together. Just having you here is enough."<br/>He squeezes my hands. "That’s precisely why I want to make you something wonderful." He presses a kiss to the top of my head. "Just sit tight, It'll be ready before you know it."<br/>So I wait and I let him do his thing, a part of me understanding that he needs a way to find his place here. I’ve got to give him time to settle in.</p><p>He serves me the first freshly cooked meal I’ve had since I moved in. We sit at my kitchen island and eat together. I see him try to hide his discomfort eating in my grotty kitchen, he hates any kind of dirt after his time in the asylum but he’s to polite to say anything. <br/>I grin teasingly as he eyes the chipped paint on the wall. <br/>"You can say it, I’m not going to send you back for complaining." I joke and he huffs.<br/>"It’s so obvious? I honestly mean nothing offensive, it’s just this place could use some..." He grimaces. "Sprucing up."<br/>I laugh, ignoring his indignant look. "You looked like if you didn’t say something you we’re going to burst." I step back into his space, my laughter sobering and my voice soft. "You never have to mince your words with me. I want us to be honest with one another."<br/>He snorts, smile turning up his lips. "In that case, this building is a crime against the fashionable standards of living and should be torn from its roots."<br/>He pauses as I laugh again and his hand slips around my waist. "But in short we have both lived through worse and as long as this crumbling block of cement has you inside it then I would always choose to stay."<br/>He kisses me and my stomach still flutters with excitement like the first time.<br/>I pull away and take up our empty plates, dumping them in the sink to wash. <br/>"You know, we don’t have to stay here forever. This was just for now. I took the first apartment I could find so that I could have a place for us after Lisa."<br/>Silence fills the room at the sound of her name.<br/>"How is-" Eddie pauses as though considering saying something unkind before thinking better of it. "Your ex wife?"<br/>I keep my eyes on the dishes as I reply, keeping my hands busy with the washing. "I don’t know, it’s weird. The divorce is pretty much completed, she took care of everything. I can tell she’s still really mad but-"<br/>I pause, stacking wet cutlery in the drying rack. " she left me out here with no one." My voice returns more quietly.<br/>Eddie hums and comes to stand beside me with a dry cloth, ready to dry what I’ve already put to the side. <br/>"But it’s fine." I reassure myself. "We’ve only got to stay here until all the paperwork is sorted then we can find somewhere nicer together." <br/>A shy smile ghosts over my lips as i continue to speak. <br/>"Somewhere with a garden and two bedrooms so that Link can stay weekends. He needs his own room and this place isn’t big enough." <br/>He smiles wistfully, taking the last plate from my hands and stacking it on the drying rack.<br/>"When do you get to see him next? I’ve missed him." <br/>My heart does a little flip at his words. "Daytime Sunday and after school on Wednesdays we get takeout."<br/>He looks away, seemingly uncomfortable. "Is this going to change? I can imagine his mother won’t approve of my release."<br/>My smile drops and realisation floods me. I had been so overwhelmed with bringing Eddie home that the thought had slipped my mind. <br/>"I-.... I haven’t told her yet."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Lisa</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eddie’s face falls, eyes filled with hurt. <br/>"Why haven’t you told her?" He takes my hand. "I- are you ashamed?" <br/>I shake my head rapidly. <br/>"Oh Eddie, fuck no. She knows I’ve been fighting to get you back for weeks."<br/>"You have to tell her." He sighs, "we need to know where we stand."<br/>I squeeze his hands, pressing our foreheads together. <br/>"I know, I swear it slipped my mind. I’ll call her now."<br/>I fumble for my cell phone and scroll for Lisa’s number, finger hovering over the screen. <br/>Eddie squeezes my hand and I hit call. <br/>Ring...... Ring......<br/>"Hello?" Her voice carries over the phone, soft and a little out of breath. <br/>"Hey Lisa." I speak into the receiver and I hear the strange pause.<br/>"Waylon, whats up? I just dropped Link off at a friends house for a birthday party."<br/>I take a deep breath. "We- ummm" I bite my lip. "We have to talk. Can you come over?"<br/>A long silence. Maybe she can sense my nerves but I almost wonder if she hung up.<br/>"…Lisa?"<br/>She exhales. "Yeah, I’m here." She responds before clearing her throat. "Alright. I’ll be right over." <br/>"Thanks. See you soon." I say just before she hangs up. <br/>I drop the phone and burry my face in Eddie’s shirt. <br/>"That sounded rough." Eddie runs one hand over the back of my neck and up my hair. <br/>"Mmhmm" I mumble into him and bury my face in his neck. "She’s coming now."<br/> He huffs out a laugh. "Should I hide?"<br/>My lips quirk upwards and I stand on my toes to press a kiss against his lips. <br/>"No, I’m gonna need you with me. We really should sort this out."</p><p> </p><p>I’m struggling to pull on my sweater when the doorbell sounds. <br/>"Just a minute!" I hop from the bedroom into the hallway where Eddie stands awkwardly by the door. <br/>"I didn’t know if it would be proper for me to open the door."<br/>I give a nervous laugh. "It’s okay."<br/>I pull back the door and Eddie and I both meet her eyes. <br/>Her mouth fells open and her eyes harden. She stands silently for half a minute before taking a few steps back. "Oh fuck no."<br/>She turns on her heel and starts to walk away. <br/>"Lisa wait, please."<br/>She doesn’t look back but stands still halfway down the hallway. "No, Waylon." She turns back around and I step out to meet her, eyes pleading.<br/>"We’ve got to talk about this." I sigh. "Please? For Link."<br/>Her face deflates. "Fine." <br/>She walks briskly back into the flat and past Eddie who stands in place in the doorway. <br/>I head back inside and close the door, Eddie following behind me as we head to find Lisa who sits on my sofa, expression stony. <br/>"W-would you like tea?" I hedge. "Eddie can-"<br/>"No." Lisa snaps. "I don’t trust him not to poison me, thanks." She growls and I see Eddie flinch.<br/>"Hey! That’s uncalled for."  I sit down opposite her, motioning for Eddie to sit beside me. "We need to talk like adults about this. We need to do what’s best for Link."<br/>She grits her teeth. "No, don’t you dare insinuate that you know what’s best for our son after you put our family through this! I will listen to whatever it is you have to say for yourself but you have no right to act like you care more about him when you chose a fucking killer over us."<br/>I feel Eddie tense but I squeeze his hand. <br/>"I get it. You don’t like this, you’ve made that clear but it’s not your choice anymore." I sigh, keeping my voice soft despite the desire I have to shout. "But you’re Links mother and you deserve a say in what happens now. <br/>She sighs, her face stony, my eyes run over her wondering when her face became so stricken. "I won’t let you be alone with him. Not anymore. I’ll bring him to visit so he can see his dad but I won’t let you have more than that."<br/>My face falls. "Lisa, why? You’ve seen Eddie with kids. He would never hurt my son."<br/>"It’s not just that, Waylon. I don’t trust him alone with you ether."<br/>"What? Why? I don’t understand."<br/>"He’s not safe alone with you. There’s something the matter with you to want this." She gestures to the two of us as we sit together. "You are a bad father."<br/>Eddie gets to his feet, fists clenched and blue eyes burning."<br/>"Now see here you fucking-" <br/>My intake of breath is sharp and he stops himself, taking a deep breath before continuing more calmly. "Whatever opinions you may have of me are yours to express and I do not care, frankly I’m not very fond of you ether but I will not hear a single word against Waylon. He is an excellent father and loves Lincoln more than anything in this world. You can take that as a statement from a person with truly awful parentage. Your son is safe. Now I want you to let me explain myself. Ask me anything you wish to know and I will answer you honestly. If by the time you leave you still feel that Link is unsafe then I shall make myself absent for every visit. He doesn’t even have to know of my release, tell him whatever you wish. Just don’t take Waylon's boy away."<br/>Her mouth is set in a firm line but she sits back in her seat. <br/>"Alright, I’m listening."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. His story</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TRIGGER WARNING FOR GRAPHIC MENTION OF CSA. I triggered myself writing this so please proceed with caution.<br/>Be careful, no story is worth causing yourself pain. I love you</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I was born in 1968. My mother was very traditional and kept our house while my father worked, I was a lonely child and my youth was violent. The abuse I suffered is as much public knowledge as my crimes so I’m under the impression that you understand the things my father and uncle did to me. I would prefer not to go into detail if you don’t mind."<br/>Lisa nods, looking uncomfortable and I squeeze his hand. I know a little about his childhood from documents I found in Mount Massive and there was a silent understanding between us that on nights when he would wake sweating and shaking I wouldn’t ask what happened, choosing just to hold him until things were better.<br/>He takes a deep breath before continuing, voice stern. "I have no need for pity but the events in my childhood left me to be a very troubled teenager. I had many mental illnesses that went undiagnosed and unchecked. Between the trauma and illness, much of my childhood memory has been erased."<br/>"D-do you remember killing those girls?" Lisa asks, looking a lot like she doesn’t want to hear the answer.<br/>Eddie sighs. "Yes and no. The memories I have are disjointed, like i was watching everything from above while someone else took over my body. For a long time I was in denial, there was so much my mind couldn’t handle. Since then I’ve been given medication to help my afflictions and my therapists have been great in supporting my journey. I know what I’ve done, nobody else committed the crime but me, I understand that now and I won’t ever stop trying to make up for what I’ve done." <br/>Lisa seems unmoved, eyes still sceptical. <br/>"Why did you choose them? Google said they were strangers to you."<br/>He looks down. "I honestly don’t know. They were women and I had a problem with misogynistic thoughts. I wasn’t raised to respect women as equals and I’m still struggling to unlearn that thought process. Otherwise I don’t remember."<br/>Lisa purses her lips, unimpressed. "Yes, I’ve noticed. How did they catch you?"<br/>Eddie gives a little cough and runs one hand down his face. <br/>"Well, when my parents passed away I inherited the family house. They both died when i was sixteen, no I had nothing to do with it I was in juvenile hall when it happened." He shoots Lisa a look before continuing. "I moved back home and the psychosis I experienced became worse. If I had to guess I’d say this led to the murders." He pauses and clears his throat again awkwardly. "…I kept the b-bodies in my house and the smell tipped off the neighbours. I don’t remember when the police came, apparently I was switching rapidly between dissociation and fits of violence and psychosis. They said I wasn’t fit to withstand trial, I was too sick."<br/>He shakes his head as if trying to rid himself of the thoughts.<br/>"I was transferred first to a hospital and things got better. For maybe five years I was mostly lucid, I needed counselling that they couldn’t provide but things were okay. Then the place was closed and I was transferred into Murkoff's hands. They-"<br/>His words stick in his throat and I watch him choke on the air. I thread our fingers together and finish for him.<br/>"They did all the things they did to me but worse." I mutter, gaze in my lap.<br/>Eddie nods. "I only remember some of the things that happened, the drugs they gave me interfered with my head a lot but I remember how much it hurt."<br/>We exchange a look and I silently lock his gaze, trying to tell him how much I love him with only my eyes.<br/>When I turn back Lisa has her eyes on us and her brow is furrowed. <br/>" is there anything else you want to know?" Eddie asks<br/>She shakes her head. "No." She gets to her feet. "A sad story doesn’t change my mind. Waylon can keep Wednesdays and Sunday’s but I want you to make yourself scarce. I don’t care where you go but I’m not ready to have you around Link, at least not now. "<br/>Eddie nods, face graven. "Very well. I would love to one day be a part of your sons life but I will respect your decision."<br/>"Yeah well I’ve got to go. I want to get some work done before I have to go and get Link, I’ll drop him off Sunday."<br/>I sigh. "Alright. I’ll let you out. Thank you for coming. "<br/>I open the front door and she steps out. "Sure. I’ve got a lot to think about, see you later, okay?"<br/>I force my mouth upwards into something of a smile as I close the door, not bothering to say goodbye.</p><p>I head back into the living room only to find it empty. <br/>"Eddie? Where did you go?" I head further into the house, finding the kitchen also vacant.<br/>"Eddie?" <br/>"Here, darling." His voice calls from the darkness of our bedroom. The curtains are closed, blocking out the light and hiding the lump in the covers. <br/>I step over Eddie’s clothes which have obviously been torn from his body and discarded on the floor. I wince, he always hangs all his clothes up so neatly...<br/>I sit down on the bed, taking off my own clothes and slipping on an old pair of sweatpants before climbing under the covers with him. <br/>As soon as I lay down he wraps both arms around me and holds me tight to his chest. <br/>"Eddie, talk to me. Tell me what’s going on. This isn’t like you."<br/>He huffs and I feel the wet track of tears on his cheeks. <br/>"I haven’t spoken out loud about my life, about what happened with anyone but my doctors and-" He runs his thumb over his eye before continuing. "I have no idea how much you already know. I don’t want you to think less of me."<br/>I sigh and cup his face in my hands, struggling to figure out his expression in the darkness. " I don’t know any details. I only know that when you were a child you were hurt by the people who should have protected you. It wasn’t your fault and I would never think less of you for something like that. I love you more every second I’m with you and nothing in the world could change that. The things they did to you were horrible and no child should ever suffer the way you did, you could never do anything to deserve what happened, do you understand?" <br/>He doesn’t respond, only burying himself deeper in my embrace. <br/>"They used me." His voice comes out as a whimper and I ache as this powerful man crumbles under the weight of his trauma. "They stole everything from me. They took away any chance of the life I could have had."<br/>He shakes and I wrap my arms around his back, stroking soothing circles over his bare skin. "And everyone knows." He heaves, tears rolling down his face. "It’s all on public record, you could look up my name and read about every disgusting thing I endured. Its humiliating, Waylon."<br/>I press kisses to the top of his head, trying and failing to find the right things to say. <br/>"I wish I had some way to stop the pain but i can’t. All I can do is be here with you and try to make things easier. I promise to never look you up, whatever you choose to tell me is up to you if or when you’re ready. Otherwise I never have to know, okay?"<br/>He sighs, tears sobering. "Thank you. I apologise, I never wished for you to see me in this state."<br/>I smile sadly and press a kiss to his lips, tasting the salt of his tears. "You’re not a state. You’re beautiful. You never have to apologise for this, okay? I don’t know if I will ever be able to understand but I’m always going to be here to listen." <br/>"I love you, darling. I need to sleep, stay with me?"<br/>I smile pulling him closer and tucking his face into my neck. <br/>"Of course, as long as you need."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I think while writing this chapter I realised why Eddie Is one of my favourite outlast characters. We share a traumatic experience and I really want to help him heal. <br/>I didn’t know whether to release the last half of this chapter but I chose to because I hope it can make at least one other CSA survivor feel less alone.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. The calm</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Have some tooth rotting fluff. Thank you for being patient with me, when i tell you that the chapter before this took a lot outta me I’m not exaggerating.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The sun shines bright through the gap in the curtains, warming my face. I give a sleepy groan and peel open my eyes, putting my hand before my face to block out the light. Eddie huffs in his sleep, his back to me and one arm slung over his face. His hair is tousled where he has rolled in his sleep. He really is such a beautiful man, scars and all. <br/>I slip out from under the covers and creep into the kitchen, bathing in the light that spills through the window. I fish around in the cupboards for bread and a carton of eggs, Eddie usually cooks for us both but I really want to surprise him with breakfast. He deserves something good after such a rough day yesterday. <br/>I fry two eggs, listening to the crackle of the oil as the bread pops from the toaster. <br/>"…darling?" Eddie’s sleepy voice carries through the apartment.<br/>"I’ll be right there." I call and pile our food onto two plates before juggling everything back into the bedroom.<br/>The curtains are open and Eddie sits up against the headboard. A big smile spreads over his face as he takes a plate from my arms. "You cooked?" <br/>I laugh. "Yeah. It might not taste great but I tried."<br/>I sit down beside him and watch as he takes a bite.<br/>"This is actually passable. Thank you darling." He leans in and presses a kiss to my cheek. <br/>We eat quietly for a while before I set my plate down and turn to Eddie.<br/>"Do you maybe wanna go somewhere today?"<br/>His smile turns to a grimace. "Darling, I don’t know..."<br/>"It’s nothing big, I promise you’ll enjoy it. Besides, you have to get used to leaving the house. Please?"<br/>After a moment of hesitation he sighs. "Okay, yes. I trust you."</p><p> </p><p>The taxi stops after maybe a ten minute drive. I had chosen to opt out of a bus ride, wanting to save Eddie the extra stress of a crowd. He quickly gets out of the car, leaving me to pay the driver and I wonder if maybe cars make him claustrophobic. <br/>I thank the driver one last time and close my door, taking Eddie’s hand as he looks around us.<br/>We stand before a bright little shop with a lime green sign that reads ‘Taylor’s Tailors'<br/>I had found the shop almost by accident and it had stained itself into my mind. Quaint and old-fashioned just like Eddie it reminded me of the exact place I could imagine him feeling at home. <br/>"I thought you’d like to get some material so you can sew again while I’m working. I feel like having a hobby again could really help you feel better."<br/>He looks between me and the front door before squeezing my hand.<br/>"You are so full of wonderful ideas, darling" he presses a kiss to the top of my head and lets me lead him inside. <br/>The inside of the shop is tiny and devoid of people, rolls of fabric are stacked over every table and hung along the walls. The little wooden counter at the far end of the room has a half finished dress, held together with pins and a radio softly playing music. These are the only signs of life. <br/>Eddie walks around, footsteps soft as though afraid to disturb the peace. He runs one hand over the fabric at his side, the colour a cute pastel blue. <br/>"Pick out whatever you want." I whisper and leave Eddie with the fabric slipping deeper into the store.<br/>As I’m admiring a roll of purple silk I feel something small and sharp swipe my ankle and I hop backwards. <br/>"Woah, what was that?" I mutter, leaning down to peer beneath the bench. <br/>A grin spreads over my face as a fuzzy little nose bumps against my extended hand. I slowly rub it’s cheek, coaxing the soft bundle of fur out. <br/>"Hey little guy..." I speak softly to a small tabby kitten as it comes out from its hiding space and sits itself on my lap. <br/>"Eddie, come see this." I call over my shoulder and I listen to his footsteps approach. <br/>"Darling, why are you on the floor?"<br/>"Look!" I cradle the kitten and he immediately holds out his arms for it. <br/>I grin, handing the little purring ball over. Eddie holds it up, big smile spreading over his lips. <br/>"He’s absolutely precious." Eddie coos and the cat mews back at him.<br/>"Ah! I see you’ve found Lola." A woman’s voice echos from the door at the back of the shop. <br/>We both startle a little and I hop to my feet to face a plump older woman holding a pile of dresses. "Sorry to keep you waiting."<br/>Eddie smiles, setting the kitten in the crook of his arm. <br/>"There’s no problem, ma’am. Did you say this lovely creatures name is Lola?"<br/>The woman smiles. "Yes, she’s my daughters kitten. Our old cat Ziggy had kittens and the others sold. I told her she could keep one and she chose the one you’re holding." <br/>She holds out her arm and Eddie hands over the kitten so that it sits on the fabric in her arms. <br/>"Is there anything I can help you gentlemen with?"<br/>Eddie shakes his head. "No, I’ve already made my selection. May I take a metre roll of the navy satin?"<br/>The woman appears to beam.<br/>"Of course, excellent choice. I’m using the same fabric to line one of my latest dresses." She gestures to the half stitched dress that lays over the counter and Eddie steps closer to inspect. <br/>"it’s beautiful, truly. Do you sew the details by hand?"<br/>"I do indeed, how did you notice?"<br/>Eddie seems to think, fingers gently caressing the material. "Well I used to sew and I know my way around an old sewing machine but could never achieve this level of intricate detailing."<br/>"Really? Then you’d love my old girl. Come this way." She heads into the cluttered back room and we follow. "I’ve had her for years but we upgraded to a more modern set of tech so she just collects dust back here."<br/>Eddie kneels before the mechanism, brushing his hand over the copper. <br/>"It’s magnificent. How much do you want for it?"<br/>The woman laughs. "Are you sure dear? She needs some fixing up."<br/>Eddie nods. "Yes, undoubtedly."<br/>The woman seems to think before placing a hand on Eddie’s shoulder.<br/>"Consider her a gift with the purchase of your fabric. I get the feeling you’ll give her a good home. Just make sure to show me what you create with her."</p><p> </p><p>We leave with our arms full and with promises to return and visit a new friend. Eddie can’t keep the smile from his face the whole ride home. It seems that our first outing had been a complete success.<br/>I lay in his arms under the security of our bedsheets, sleep is tempting me as I listen to the thump of his heart. <br/>My eyes are closed and I’m seconds from letting go when my phone buzzes to life and shakes me from my stupor.<br/>I sit up and rub my eyes, fumbling to find the source of the noise.<br/>I pick up the call and the voice on the other end makes my stomach drop.<br/>...<br/>"Lisa?"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Link to art of Eddie with the kitten drawn by my wonderful friend at outlovelast on tumblr <br/>https://theirmajesty2139.tumblr.com/post/644817925970313216/visitation-theirmajesty2139-outlast-video</p></blockquote></div></div>
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